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Ptsd, Stress And Sudden Physical Reaction To Exposure

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AngrySky

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Hello everyone -

I am just curious to see if anyone has had this happen to them. I am sure some of you have ead a little of my history as I am new here and seem to be posting a lot :)

Anyway, I have a mother who is a partier/drug abuser who had several DV boyfriends in my childhood as well as more intense sexual trauma. There stems the PTSD. I thought I have been coping pretty well. I knew there were issues in my head but I laways found a way to function, stay busy, raise my kids, etc. You know, ignore the elephant and it will go away.

Over the last 5 years I have tried to distance myself from my mother because I was trying to move forward in a positive way and she always talked about the past, etc. We have a very codependant relationship. No matter what happens to her or what she does, I write it off as to her having her own baggage from a traumatic childhood of her own and she couldnt help it. So distancing from her was very hard. I knew one day I would get a call that she was dead and I thought I accepted that as a truth and was ok with it.

Anyway, Jan 2012 I received a call from one her her "party" buddies that she was losing it. Smoking crack and doing meth and drinking gallons of vodka, walking around talking to herself, living in squallor. So, I did what any good daughter would do. I got in my car alone (my older brother had previously written her off due to his PTSD from childhood and his attempt at recovery) and drove 8 hours to find her. Well, I found her. I took her to a hotel to clean her up, try to get her to eat, try to get her to sleep. It was a very long night dealing with that. The next morning we talked and I drove her to a crisis center, long story short, her version is that she was not in enough of a crisis to be admitted fro detox, etc. So I had no choice but to drop her off at the one boyfriend that would take her (He was a major trauma for me) since I had to drive back home to get home to my 3 kids. So the trip was for nothing.

Within the next two weeks my neck muscles were all tightening at the same time and pulling my head involuntarily in different directions with excrutiating muscle spasms. The muscles would all contract at the same time so that I couldnt swallow any food or drink. I couldnt eat for days. I lost 27 pounds. After 5 emergency room visits for morphine injections and muscle relaxants (that didnt work) and 5 neurologists later. I finally found a Nuero that did a few little tests that no other Dr had done and then point blank asked me if I had unresolved childhood trauma. I began to cry. He proceeded to tell me that since my brain has run out of ways to cope with things it has now moved to my body physically reacting to the stress. I was put on SSRI's and began therapy. Over the next 2 months symptoms eased and I was fully functioning again.

Anyone heard of this or experienced it? (Sorry for the novel!)
 
Geez, what would your mother deem crisis mode enough for rehab.

You have been one hell of a great daughter.

Have you read In An Unspoken Voice by Peter Levine? There are lots of books on trauma in the body. That's my personal fav. The unspoken voice refers to what your body is trying to tell you and trying to do to release the trauma without of course being able to verbally speak itself.

I'm so sorry for the living hell you went thru and still do. I definitely react physically when trauma is triggered.
 
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Thanks so muuch, Fanciemarie.

I am not sure that is what they said. I wasn't allowed to go into the interview room with her. She wanted to go alone. She said she was embarrased. I am sure she told them that I was over reacting or that she could handle it or some other bulls**t and they deemed her not in "crisis". I confronted her with it because I could not comprehend their lack of understanding of the situation. She swore up and down that she told them the truth. I don't believe her.

Thanks for the book suggestion. I will look into it.

Honestly, I sometimes think the physical reactions are easier to deal with than the emotional ones. (or lack thereof for me).
:)
 
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Wow, what a challenge you have faced. You are amazing.

You most certainly are experiencing physical manifestations of stress from both past trauma and current situations. Trauma and stress are not merely thoughts. The energy created by your experiences has a real physical presence. There are great resources out there to help you work through this and find balance. I have been helped by reading some of the postings on a blog by a guy named Sen, his forum/blog is called calmdownmind . Also, do some research on the impact of vitamin b12 and b6, many people find these to help with the physical impact of stress. Best wishes.
 
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Thank you as well, Quic.

I will look into it. Honestly, I have a hard time with any type of meditation because if the inaility to still my mind at all. I sped the entire time running things I should be doing or telling myself to stop thinking, over and over :)

The drive home from that event was the first time I ever had flashbacks from my life. I had to pull over from the highway because I broke and the images wouldn't stop coming. I sat frozen for over an hour with the tears just spilling but I remember no sound. Just tears and images. Still seems surreal. Then I went numb, the tears dried and I drove home and put on the face that everything was the same as usual. It is pretty amazing what body and mind can handle and still survive.

Thank you all for the support and well wishes. Same to you.
 
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Your limbic brain to the rescue! If numbness can be considered rescue. I spent my life mostly numb. it allowed me to function but my quality of life was awful.

My dad was the one with addictions. Rehabs can't commit people. I'm sure they knew exactly what was going on with her. Addicts lie sometimes.

I had the same problem with meditation at first. "First" being a few years. But then I discovered mindful meditation where - the form I use - I am occupied feeling bodily sensations. What does my left foot feel. Is it cold? Hot? Buzzing? What does the air feel like around it? The sock? And so on all the way up to the top of my head. It slows my mind.

Also you can do mindful meditative walks. Lotsa things you can do - not just clear your head sitting still.

I downloaded binaural beats off ITunes. The sounds confuse the right and left sides of my brain pulling me out of obsessive manic thought.

There are so many options out there now to help us. I love this forum for that and the support. I am so glad you are here.
 
Thanks! These types that you just mentioned sound more "active" to me than trying to clear my head and be mindful. Maybe giving my mind something to do that is inclusive in the experience will help.
I am really glad I am here too.
 
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