Question About Memory

[fresh_start]

Have any of you experienced problems remembering people who were in your life around the time that you were abused? My experience happened when I was 19 years old and I find that I have trouble sometimes remembering people who were in my life during that time period. Even events in the first six months to year after I was raped are very blurry. There were times where time was missing, or I would look up from doing something and more time had elapsed then I thought. I suppose for me I'm looking for answers to my past so I can move forward. I do remember that in those six months to a year that I didn't take very good care of myself.

 

[Howard Beal]

Not only do cannot recall people. There are litterally years I that I cannot remember untill they come I'm as a flashback then it's whoaa what the heck just happened. I know I am weird.

 

[jadebear]

I'm assuming memory problems are a common thing.

Most of my abuse happened when I was a child. I have a younger sister that I don't really remember at all, just a few bits and pieces, even though she basically became my responsibility when I was 10.

 

[Lisa]

Not just who was in my life, but also who my abuser was! I was left with only fragments.

Looking up from doing something and much more time having elapsed than I thought is something I still get. Not remembering things from times in my life is also something I have, and like Howard Beal, I have memories that I only remember when they come as flashbacks. I even forget some of them in between flashbacks. Sometimes I end up doubting everything I think I know. But then last time I did doubt everything I thought I knew about myself and my past I nearly lost my sanity entirely.

Start with what you do remember, and I find it helps to write down memories so that I know I won't lose them again. The whole memory thing has been such a difficulty for me that I developed a bit of an odd obsessive type behaviour. I keep any 'evidence' of where I've been, especially any good times as I'm terrified I might lose those too.

You are not alone in the confusion of memory recall difficulty. It's common with trauma, but it's diconcerting to go through.

 

[fresh_start]

Thank you for the replies. It just feels better knowing that I'm not going crazy. I'm really at a strange point in my life where I feel like I need to know where I have been to move forward. The memory issues feel strange for me because of the length of time since I was raped. It's sort of like I have got traces some symptoms of the PTSD but not all of it any more because some healing has occured. Maybe, I won't ever be whole but I'm happy that some progress has been made. I don't have nightmares or flashbacks on a regular basis any more. The past two years have been stressful, and I find that when I am under excessive stress that some of the symptoms come back like the issues with memory, and my sleeping patterns. I have been trying to watch the returning symptoms closely, because I don't want them to get any worse.