Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

[BloomInWinter]

Now, my T. gets annoyed whenever I call myself stupid. I try not to...but still slip, apparently.

T. - "You are NOT STUPID!!!"

Me. - "You are easily fooled."

 

[Hashi]

T - What would you like to change?

Me - Your fee, that picture on the wall and the times of the trains home.

 

[Ice_Fire]

This thread is brilliant! :D

T: "I'm not in next week, will be the week after but not the one after that."

Me: "oh I'm so glad you can fit your job into your busy schedule occasionally!"

T: "There's something you're not telling me..."

Me: "no sh1t Sherlock, there's 99% of my childhood I haven't told anyone, that's kind of why I'm here"

T: "I'm getting the sense that you're feeling a bit anxious."

Me: "oh do you now, apart from the fact I just told you I am, whatever gave you that impression?"

 

[Let It Be]

During one session, my counselor asked me this question and I really didn't know how to answer her:

Counselor: So what do you do for fun?

Me: Come here, don't come here, after all these years, you still don't know me, haven't you been listening to me, what is your definition of fun, can I come back to you later, I have to go find some fun:rolleyes:

 

[Ice_Fire]

In response to an email that I got from my T this morning:

T: 'Only a short reply hun, it's sunday and my brain's not working'

Me: 'I'm really happy for you...my brain doesn't work on any day! Please, if you're going to reply, say something constructive.'
To be fair, I was really happy and surprised that she even bothered to email to touch base. So, not angry at her really, I just couldn't help having thinking the above! lol

 

[LawPhotos]

This thread is brilliant! :D
T: "I'm not in next week, will be the week after but not the one after that."
Me: "oh I'm so glad you can fit your job into your busy schedule occasionally!"

I am right there with you Ice_Fire..... I have had the same day/time appointment with my T for two years, in the past 2 months she has postponed or cancelled either my individual session or our group session about 6 or 7 times. The last time she did it, here was her reason...followed by what I would have liked to say.........

T: Oh, yes and I am going to have to cancel our session on Monday, my daughter has a party in her classroom that I volunteered to help with. Consistent with valuing my role as a mom I want to respect and honor that important commitment.

Me: Well sh*t, lady..don't let the fact that I am teetering on the edge of insanity/suicide interfere with your duty of passing out cupcakes (aka fairy cakes)!! It isn't as if you have any commitment to me, having taken me on as a client in this time slot for 2 years and making me spill my guts to you! Sheesh:confused::O_o::mad:

 

[Ice_Fire]

T: Oh, yes and I am going to have to cancel our session on Monday, my daughter has a party in her classroom that I volunteered to help with. Consistent with valuing my role as a mom I want to respect and honor that important commitment.

OMG! What utter bull sh*t! It's the way she said it, :laugh: That's just incredibly unprofessional! I must admit my T is nowhere near that bad!

 

[Srain]

'Do you feel anxious today?'
'I wouldn't have paid the copay if I didn't, doc.'

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! No kidding, huh???!!

 

[Addy]

This took place between me and my psychiatrist, not my therapist...but still thought it was funny. I was in rare form and not in a good mood on this particular day (as I was forced to see a new pdoc). Anyway this is what happened:

The pdoc came to get me and introduced herself to me.

I asked her why she was 1 1/2 hours late?????

She got all defensive and responded, that she doesn't have any control over her schedule, that the secretary books the appointments and that occasionally she runs late.

I responded... enlighten me...how does one become 1 1/2 hours late when I am only your SECOND appointment of the day? You must have spent a lot of time with your last client (smirking).

To this day, I can't believe I had the nerve to speak to her like that... she was just so damn rude. She didn't even apologize for being late, so I threw it in her face. Looking back, it was probably not the wisest decision I've ever made... ;)

 

[Lucycat]

Last week when I saw T he was ( again) suggesting that alcohol is not the best coping mechanism.

As he was leaving, following an early evening appointment he asked what my plans were for the rest of the evening.

In all honesty I replied 'well, I was just about to go out and get pissed again, but you have just scuppered that plan.'

 

[SillyMe]

Wow, what a great thread. I laughed out loud so much!

Rain, that was the funniest thing and I have thought the same type of thing when I was writing those checks! :D

 

[Innordinate]

T- "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"
Me - "Right here if you keep asking me these stupid ass questions"