Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

[Ronin]

I know I'm supposed to call you, but since busy zapping things the only words I have for everything are sarcasm.

And then a palette of rage at things I learned over the weekend.

 

[AlohaDreaming]

'Are you always this honest?'
No, I pay you good money for me to fake it, like I did with my ex husband for the last four years of our marriage.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Oy vey this is very hard but thank you for helping me so much.

 

[Ronin]

'We're... not doing this over the phone, are we. Judging from your tone.'

This one does a learning curve.

 

[Deleted member 27340]

Thanks for being absolutely useless and doing nothing for me except waste my time with useless small talk. Your profession is a lie, and you and all your colleagues would be better off lobbying politics to help prevent factors that cause psychological issues, instead of pretending to 'fix' said issues while nodding stupidly on your chairs with gold spoons up your asses.

 

[Cyberluddite]

I find it difficult to believe that someone with a professional degree in psychology doesn't know what the "Rosenhan Experiment" is. Then again, I also find it difficult to believe that I got suckerpunched so easily into trying to reason with someone with a professional degree in insanity.

Well-played, doc. Dirty pool, but well-played.

 

[Ronin]

'I'm fine'
T: Continues checks. Casuals-up continues checks.

You're doing it right.

Buddy: ... at least that ain't a boring life tho. And guess who got a new longbow?

And you are doing it righter.

 

[Recovery4Me]

What was your trauma that brought you to want this degree? Has it helped to heal you a little? :hug:

 

[Still Standing]

I thought a thread of what you would like to really respond to your therapists cliches would be interes...

I was just thinking today, at therapy that my T talks too much...in circles. I get it the first time around! And the other thing I would never say is that the T gets me mixed up with someone else...he says things that he remembers me saying that I would never say (the scenarios from which he references are not mine!). As long as they do not impact my therapy, I can overlook them, after all, I would never want to know what he is really thinking about me!!!! I am sure he wishing he had a cup of coffee or would like to take that vacation to Bermuda! Or he is simply thinking, "Get this broad outta here!" :D

 

[void]

Question to T: Your profession is meant to embody altruism, compassion, unconditional positive regard, respect for and acceptance of all diversity, kindness in the face of weakness and vulnerability, etc...

How can you live with yourself, that you charge $3-4USD per f*cking MINUTE?!?!

Many of the people that need your help the most, make less in a DAY than you make in 20 minutes, and those are the ones who CAN work! Imagine those who can't.

Oh, I know all of the well-worn excuses...yawn.

Education's expensive, blah blah, huge time commitment, blah, blah.

Do you know that there are tens, even hundreds of thousand of PhDs and even Post-Docs that work more hours than you, have more education than you, and make MUCH MUCH LESS than you!? They tolerate that for the LOVE of Science. They value research more than selfish gain.

Seeing a Psychologist is, for the most part, accessible only to Upper-middle class and above.

What about the unserved majority??

But then again, the lease is nearly up on the Mercedes and the Cottage could do with a little pick-me-up.

 

[MyWillow]

I’m always amazed at how smoothly you normalise my experiences in session. I have to ask you what day it is in order to respond to your grounding question and you manage to make me feel slightly less crazy with your response. Sometimes I think it would be simpler if you just told me I was crazy ;)

 

[Changing4Best]

Why the heck didn't you answer my 2 "I'm in a kind of crisis" emails yesterday!