Responses To Your Therapist That You Will Probably Never Say

[Pencil]

I've just gone through three mishaps with Ts, about to see # 4 for the first time next week. Reading this thread made me laugh like a hyena, and now I wonder if I'll ever be able to take therapy seriously. OMG, I think it cured me!

 

[Britt.f7]

I think we should all print these out and hand them to our therapists. How else are they ever going to learn? :whistling:

 

[Pencil]

I think we should all print these out and hand them to our therapists. :whistling:

Or it could be published as 'Therapy for Dummies (Therapists and Clients)'.

 

[Red Feather]

T: You are too unstable for therapy. You should go to a hospital and get in-patient treatment.

Me: Oh thank you that is soooooo helpful!

Happened twice already by two different T's. :banghead:

 

[Pencil]

T: You are too unstable for therapy. You should get in-patient treatment.

O.M.G.

With T1:
Me: Yak yak yak yak yak .....
T: Silence
[When I eventually took a peep in her direction, she was clearly in a Frozen State :roflmao: I slunk away never to return and pray she has recovered]

With T2:
Me: Yak yak yak yak ....
T2: "I am hesitant to work with you as you don't have a support structure and therapy will become very rough for you. You form an immediate and intense attachment. But let's make an appointment for next week at the same time to discuss this. If we do decide to continue we'll take it very, very, very, very slowly. :O_o: (I cancelled session 2)

With T3:
Me: Yak yak yak yak ....
T3: In session: "You have an ambivalent attachment pattern and need a minimum of 2 sessions a week and see a psychiatrist for medication." The day before the second session, on the phone: "You need in-patient treatment. I want to refer you to XX hospital for 8 weeks". Me: "I am a single mother and breadwinner. I don't have the luxury of booking myself in for two months. What do you think that will do to my daughter???? I can't afford to let the wheels come off." T: "The wheels are already coming off. The choice is up to you."
Me: "I DON'T have a choice!!! I HAVE A 6 YO CHILD!!!"
T: "Then I can't see you" :wtf:

In my wildest imagination I can't come up with a quick or glib or funny reply. But I want to know from these f*ckwits how the three of them could not come up with slightly more similar responses, diagnoses, reactions. Should I schedule a conference?

 

[Red Feather]

Geez Pencil, thanks for sharing that! I am looking for a T at the moment, and everytime I get an appointment, the more the T listens to me, the more their face starts looking very concerned and terrorized.

Next time, I'll be doing the interview.

Me: Hello, nice to meet you.

T: Please sit down.

Me: So, I have some questions. How are your coping skills in dealing with clients who are complete lunatics like me?

or

Could you please tell me how many problems your average patient has? I could surely top them! I bet you!

or

Do you find it frightening when I can't understand a word you are saying, and am slowly drifting to another plane of existance?

:wtf:Rant...:wtf:

 

[Pencil]

I am looking for a T at the moment, and everytime I get an appointment, the more the T listens to me, the more their face starts looking very concerned and terrorized.


:wtf:Rant...:wtf:

LOL Nadia. Good luck! I sometimes wonder why they spend so many years in psych school, or rather, what they do there. Play tennis?

 

[Britt.f7]

My present t thinks that it is beneficial to have a t who has experienced some sort of mental illness, in order to relate to you.

I want to tell her I'm not so sure that is comforting to know.

 

[Pencil]

My present t thinks that it is beneficial to have a t who has experienced some sort of mental illness, in order to relate to you.

I want to tell her I'm not so sure that is comforting to know.

ROFLMAO

 

[Pencil]

My present t thinks that it is beneficial to have a t who has experienced some sort of mental illness, in order to relate to you.

Britt, do you mean to say that they spend x years in psych school going for therapy? So, no tennis then?

 

[Britt.f7]

Apparently not Pencil. At least, not until they get their degree. ;)

 

[Pencil]

ROFLMAO

So, Britt, a valid and informed response to any of their annoying questions would be: "What mental order exactly do you suffer from?"