Robbery - do i notify the police?

[Upside Down Eagle]

Hi all.

I have a question about a difficult situation, not sure what to do. I would like your opinion.

This is what went down:

I live in a building which has several studios. Each studio has their own owner, who rents the place out. So each tenant has their own landlord within the house. Now recently, a parent of an owner in the house decided to clean up some old junk that has been lying around.

They also removed all the old bikes they assumed were no longer in use. I had two bikes, they were old, but they were functioning. When I noticed my bikes were missing, I asked why nobody had notified me. They said that everyone who was in the house group chat (whatsapp) had been warned prior. I am not in the group chat and I have made clear long ago that important mail to tenants should be send through the mail.

According to the parent who took them, my bikes were destroyed at a junk yard. He did not apologize and plainly remarked that I should buy a new one. So now I am wondering whether I should report this to the police. I mean, the bikes were old, but they were of value to me.

Him just taking my property without any notice whatsoever, has me feeling kind of violated. I think I should take this feeling seriously, too. Considering that I have felt this way in the past due to PTSD.

Hope you have some suggestions.

Thanks.

 

[Deleted member 43031]

Hi, that is a tough one 1.Your feelings are absolutely legit and warranted lets get that straight and here are my 3 1/2 cents:.... when I am confronted with a legitimate issue that makes me feel angry and taken advantage of - AND it is also a trigger.... I give myself some time to weigh my choices. I could make a police report, then ask myself what are the ramifications of doing this.... tension between this person and myself, more conflict, direct or implied, a possible direct confrontation... and is it worth all that. Other options: write them a letter expressing how you feel. Tell them, which it sounds like you did with not a very sensitive reply. Or I could choose not to make a police report and take the other options stated above or search for another outlet. The main thing is to give yourself enough time to sort out which choice feels right and makes you feel the safest. which includes self care around the trigger part. The trigger can be 10x the issue that actually occurred. HUGE. I struggle with personal rage around small things myself... and catch that it is connected to a long history of being diminished, harmed, and well you know.... that has built up even though I have spent many years in therapy. So I do my personal checks and balances all the time. Right now I'm dealing with a fairly aggressive neighbor who is angry I trimmed the branches of his huge pine tree that over took my yard. I am choosing to ignore his relatively benign behavior as to engage - and/or report to the city the small things he has done will only exacerbate the situation. This is after me having the city ordinance manager come out and chat with me. His advice was to ignore the situation and sometimes that is the best thing for me to do..... Yours is different, you lost 2 bikes, and someone messed with your stuff. Here's a thought, get the name of the junkyard, and find out of that is really true. Worth a shot. Even if you got the bikes back the situation still remains. Other options are get into the chat so it does not happen again, and only look for notices. If there is anyone above this person perhaps have a civil conversation about this so at least you are heard. Sometimes this is all we need. I'm sorry to hear of your upset... this stuff is always much more than just the act itself - it can bring up every time you felt "violated" or diminished. Take all the time you need to sort it out, do what is best for you and keeps you safest. Many are the ways to work out rage, yet keep ourselves safe and away from more conflict. Take a time out from this and breathe.... come back to it when you have spent some time with perhaps a pleasant accepting person in your life. Often this helps the balance factor. Just my thoughts, nothing more... I am on the same path you are..... sorting it out as I go. Many Blessings to you!!

 

[Friday]

Sounds like a good idea, to me.

Just because you know who stole your property, doesn't mean it wasn't stolen.

Similarly? Notifying people who don't own the property that you're taking the property, doesn't absolve someone of responsibility. To reverse roles for a second: If I ask my mom if I can borrow her car, and then I drive off in her neighbors car, do I have permission to do so? Nope! That's car theft. I have permission to take my mom' s car. Not her neighbors car. The responsibility as the person taking the vehicle falls on ME to get a yes, not the owner of the vehicle to read my mind, track me down, & say no. No is inherant. I am the one who needs to gain permission. If I ask everyone on her street except the neighbor whose car I take? And they all say, sure, drive my car! It's still car theft to take the one person's car that I didn't ask. Because? I didn't ask them! Even if I thought I had asked "everyone", it's still my fault if I made a mistake. Not theirs.

It's not your fault that they didn't ask you before they took something. It's theirs.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Yeah I think you´re right Friday. I´m just scared to make their ass accountable.
I can relate to what FranklymyDear is saying too, but I´m not angry or emotional. Just kind of flabbergasted.

In the past, whenever I tried to defend my boundaries, I got punished or yelled at for it. Other people were always in the right, not me. Hence the hesitance, I think.

 

[LuckiLee]

I would. They'll let you know how to proceed.

 

[Bill Dickerson]

This goes to intent. The owners parent didn't intend on denying the use of the bikes by taking them from you. The parents response is probably because they are embarrassed by the mistake. There is a difference in a mistake and a crime. It was a mistake because there was no ill intent.

I think I would talk the parents child who I'm assuming is an adult. Ask them for a replacement or compensation.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

I did. I asked them both to take responsibility for destroying my property, and for an apology. Neither of them did. They think that they´re not wrong to take away the property. Hence, they will not apologize or offer any compensation.

A while back, this guy and his daughter decided that the house needed repairs. Normally, you would announce big repairs to your tenants. Considering that there will be scaffolding, obstruction of view, and noise. In our case, the repairs lasted four months. They did not bother to announce it at all, until the day that construction workers arrived.

They routinely break social rules that are supposed to make this a nice place to live for everybody. The tenants are generally young and so they don´t say anything about it. I´m not that young, I have PTSD, and so this stuff bothers me more.

I could decide to let this slip, but if I did, they would have taken advantage of me, and previous landlords have already taken plenty of advantage of me. At some point I´ve got to say "stop". Even if they did not intend to behave like burglars.

 

[Chitoshi]

If it were me I would report it. I have problems with standing up for myself and my T told me to just go with my gut about calling the police. Will it cause more problems with them? Maybe. But as for what I would do I would report it. I'm pretty "territorial" about my "stuff" though so take this advice into consideration when you read this. :)

It makes me angry just seeing that they did that because that was uncalled for.


I forgot to add that just because they "look" unused doesn't mean they "are" unused. I didn't run my dishwasher today or yesterday, doesn't mean that my landlord can just rip it out of the wall. :rolleyes: :hug: I'm sorry this happened to you.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Thank you @Chitoshi :) :hug:

I just went to the police station. Still have to print out all the email I had with the man (who took them), but I feel a bit better.
Now I can think about my grandmother in peace and not have all this bother me when she passes away.

Hugs at everybody else, thank you for your input and support.