Sh*t. I Honestly Think My Husband Is Developing Schizophrenia. F*ck. Help.

[Kintsugi]

@Friday Oh f*ck how well you know me my beloved friend.

 

[scout86]

Oh, hush. You’re on my Most Wanted for Comment list, always.

Thanks! I needed that. LOL

What @Friday said.

My ex, I think, was an alcoholic who had quit drinking. (And a narcissist, and an accomplished liar....) We would have occasional fights over what seemed like stupid shit, followed by him acting like nothing had happened. Which sort of freaked me out. I told him several times, "If you think I want to live like this the rest of my life, you're wrong." Because I'm aware of how that cycle works. Just wasn't 100% sure that's what was going on. I clearly remember the last big blow up. He started in and I looked at him from across the room and thought, "I'm not going down that road one more time." We tried a round of couples therapy which served to clarify that HE was fine with things as they were, which meant that was the way they'd stay. So I left. One of the very best things I've ever done. Costly, in a lot of ways, but well worth it. There's a type of person where the cycle is just going to be "rinse and repeat" until something drastic happens. There IS a difference between that cycle and someone who's really trying and having a relapse. The trick is to tell the difference. And, to remember, in the end, HE is responsible for himself, just like my ex was. (My ex, BTW, was remarried within a year to someone who was very gullible and between his 2 adult daughters in age. These people can be quite resourceful!) Friday, as usual, nailed it.

 

[MnM]

My new rule is

If I feel unsafe or destabilized or conflicted...

I remove myself until I have my bearings and am grounded.

Then I can look at it from the outside and go back in if I want to. Stepping outside isn't breaking rules or abandoning or betrayal.... it's safety and sanity.