Struggling With Flashbacks - Why Can't They Just Stop

[LF1]

So sick of flashbacks. They wipe me out. Don't know how to make them stop, they make me feel disgusting and I just want them to stop. They stop sort of (the visual stuff which is new and confronting for me stops) and I can realise where I am but I still can't move and I still feel things in my body sometimes for hours after. Since I've been learning about grounding stuff I don't think I stay as frozen for as long, I just start by moving my fingers etc and eventually I can move but everything feels off. I feel unsettled and uncoordinated and I just want to hide in the corner but even then I'm still feeling stuff in my body.

It just keeps freaking me out, I feel like I have no control over flashbacks - they come out of nowhere (I can't predict my triggers). Is grounding meant to help stop flashbacks from even occurring or is it just meant to bring you back from them a bit quicker? I need them to stop, I don't want to go outside like this and not know when one will hit, at least in my apartment no one sees but I've been down the isolation path before and things don't get better. I'm already plenty isolated as it is. I just really need all this to stop, I wish I knew what to do. Sorry.

 

[hodge]

I'm so sorry, LF1. I think grounding techniques can work mostly for helping stop them before they get worse. It's really important to find out what your triggers are, then you won't be taken by surprise and can learn to avoid them. None of this is easy, but it's what we have to do. Take care!

 

[LF1]

Thanks hodge. I'm just tired and over it, I want it to be easy. I don't want to keep reliving things and feeling like I never actually got out. I am out but yet I'm still trapped, trapped by my own freaking mind.

 

[Milu]

I'm like you. My triggers are unpredictable and seem to be every where. I try to stay inside as much as I can because I'm so embarrassed of my panic attacks...
I recently had a flashback while grocery shopping. I've never felt so ashamed in my whole life.
I wish I knew how to make them stop as well.

 

[new gamma rays]

FWIW, here's the myptsd thread on grounding https://www.myptsd.com/threads/grounding-101.12459/

 

[jenLoneWolf]

Hello
I am just like you with my flashbacks. I stop seeing or even talking to alot of people. What has helped me was notice what time of day mine would start or what i was doing and writing it down. I am still learning all my triggers are but it help me to notice a couple of them and how to avoid them. Or even going in the bathroom and run cold water in the tub on my legs and feet helped my flashbacks from being so bad at times. I hope this might help. Keep your head up you will figure out what the triggers are and how to ground them. keep the faith

 

[BlueOrange]

PTSD is defined by avoidance - we have horrible thoughts and memories, and we try to avoid them. Flashbacks happen when our attempts to avoid the horrible things fail.

PTSD treatment is not about getting better at avoidance, it's about getting better at surviving the fact that we have those horrible thoughts and memories. Good therapy (which is essential for lasting improvement) helps us develop the strengths that we need in order to endure the stuff that lives in our heads. The task is not to get rid of the memories, it's to stop being disabled by the memories. It's hard, painful work, and there are many times that I just want it to be over, to close the book on that chapter of my life and for things to proceed smoothly along an enjoyable new direction.

I feel like I understand the thoughts and feelings that you're expressing. I'm tired and I don't want to keep pushing myself all the time. I've done the thing I promised my therapist I would do today, so I feel like I can rest with a clear conscience. (Well, I almost feel that way. I'm trying to feel that way. It still frakking hurts, and I'm still insecure, but I'm trying to put a brave face on it and do what I know is right.)

So yeah, those are perfectly legitimate and normal ways to feel, when you're being assaulted by flashbacks. But there's a difference between 'a valid feeling' and 'the course of action that's going to create a better life'. (And that sucks too.)