Support In Therapy

[Born to Run]

I understand your point Jane.l, and I am glad you did have had the working on it together thing going. However he should reach out and help with the non speaking issue. Not sit and wait for you to hope to speak. It is painful and I would feel very alone. I do not know if you also work body oriented, but in that case he could ask where in your body you feel stuck, or what you feel emotionally, or what or who would you think would help you to speak. As for the process I am thinking more in terms of countertransference than transference here and that is why it probably makes so little sense to you, why suddenly the whole dynamic feels different. If the therapist is not aware of that they are doing that it is damaging for therapy, and I feel you are stopped in your progress it seems. I do not know if you can relate to the feeling that something weird is going on on his side, that has nothing to do with you, or that he is taking the position of someone in your past and actively re-enacts with you that old trauma. Maybe you are familiar with all these terms, but just in case, sorry if I repeat, transference is only one sided and a normal process in therapy, in which you project old stuff on your therapist and your therapist remains therapist. Countertransference is two-sided and should not be part of therapy although it may happen, and here the therapist is no longer therapist, but becomes someone from your past and starts behaving like that person from the past. This happens when a therapist has certain personal issues not worked through that resonate in him when your specific issues come up. I find it very odd that you told him that you are very afraid when he does not speak, and then does not speak for a whole session. To me the dynamic is totally off.

 

[Jane.l]

He has asked about where I feel it in my body, I am really bad at identifying my emotions, I can't normally answer that.

I hadn't considered countertransference that's an interesting point, I was thinking more that I was reacting to the feelings his silence brought out in me and perhaps I was having such a strong reaction because it was reminding me of other 'things'. I really can't work out what is going on to be honest. I also have some borderline traits going on and my view point shifts drastically which has really crushed my ability to trust myself.

 

[Born to Run]

I get you. My mother is borderline, and I know how difficult it is for her, if not impossible to unravel, who is doing what. I hope you get back in the right dynamic with your therapist soon. This is unpleasant.

 

[Changing4Best]

She uses examples from her own life to guide me through some of my problems. She will share with me what worked for her and what didn't in similar situations. This is helpful, as when I try a similar tack in my life, I feel I am following in someone successful's footsteps and am not alone.