Switch From Psychotherapy To Cbt?

[EvenStrongerNow]

I also see that in the first thread you provided about coping skills, I have clicked "like" on several of the posts. It's obvious to me I read them but did not know that I would be needing them. I knew I was coping but didn't realize they were maladaptive.

Thanks so much again! I will stay accountable.

 

[Abstract]

I read them but did not know that I would be needing them

This is interesting. You talk about having a really difficult for a long time. What do you think stopped you from realising you needed to do things to make life better? People are mentioning every day occurrences. Why is it that you thought you did not need them?

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Because I thought that what I was doing was good enough. I thought that what I was doing was making life better. I don't know. I'm really just speculating here. I'm not absolutely sure what I was thinking at the time. Honestly. I was going through a lot. I thought that if I took the time to read that I could fix it. I spent too much time in theory and not enough on application of anything. I started internalizing everything. I was so busy trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I was beating up myself. I was angry. I didn't feel safe at all. I didn't know who I was at all. I lost myself completely in that experience. I was shattered.

I've never had to do this before.

All I can tell you is what I was doing and how I've been feeling. I cannot tell you the why completely. I'm sorry.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

I've also just started talking about details of that experience with my T so I'm feeling like I'm going crazy again. I did have a period of time over the last few months where I've felt like I was getting better, like I had a handle on things. So, when I get taken out by it again, I feel hopeless, I feel tired of fighting for myself because I'm so afraid that it's not going to end.

 

[Abstract]

I think sometimes when we are barely surviving we are not thinking properly or that has been the case for me anyway. I don't think high levels of dissociation helps.

Doing is really important when it comes to making things better. And thinking as well of course.

It sounds like you have been through a hard time. Skills are there so that we can reign ourselves in when the symptoms get out of control rather than just being buffered around randomly like flotsam. When you get skills it will put yourself much more in control and that should make a difference for you.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Thanks Abstract. Hubby and I just went out to get a coffee, sat down outside and talked. He asked me questions and we determined that shame is my biggest feeling surrounding the trauma. We went and got some good carry out food. I'm going to go offline and watch some funny movies....just relax and stop thinking so heavily.

We discussed taking a multi-faceted approach this time, get me into CBT this week, and do positive things like apply for a part time coffee shop job with low stress, get out and get active in activities as well as getting into a support group for trauma survivors/abused women so I can be around other girls who know what it's like.

 

[Abstract]

It's sad that shame is such a big part of things for so many of us. You don't deserve that shame. It's good you are making positive plans.

If I was you I would still look at CBT is in more detail before you make your mind up. That's me though and I am not you. I would also look at a lot of therapist and then get a short list of 3, have a conversation with each to see which you feel would fit best. I would think of a list of questions you can ask to be able to help you get the info you want before you decide. I just noticed you saying you are going to start CBT next week.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

I just found this article: http://psychcentral.com/lib/whats-the-difference-between-cbt-and-dbt/0005148

I agree with you about looking at them in more detail first.

From a few things I've been reading about one vs the other, it seems that DBT may benefit more as I am easily overwhelmed by my emotions and I experience sensory overloads--even if it never used to be that way, it is what is happening to me now.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

I also just read this: [DLMURL]http://theothersideofthecouch.wordpress.com/2009/05/24/coping-with-tough-times-3-dbt-skills-pt-1/[/DLMURL]

It seems I'm swinging from black to white now. Either I'm going only to emotion or only to reason and I get stuck there. This therapy seems to find a balance between the two and I like that idea.

Also though, I don't have an issue with introspection or analyzing myself. I am extremely self aware. I just have an issue with functioning and managing emotions when anxiety/stress gets high. This brings on the depression. So, I'm unsure.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

I think it would be a good idea for me to get back into church too. I used to go all of the time. I met my ex at a church. He used the Bible to manipulate me all of the time. I used to be so close to the LORD. After that experience, I got angry at God. I've never ever gotten angry with God and I think there is a lot of shame from that too.

That's another situation. I know God knows where I'm at and he will meet me wherever I am at always.

Shame is at the crux of what is going on. I never realized that before until my husband asked me about it.

 

[EvenStrongerNow]

Yea. I've spent enough time inside of myself. I want to get out of my head now and live life. I'm definitely going to put this plan in action no matter how badly or how good I feel over the next week. I'm committed to stop treating myself this way. Betrayal. I felt so betrayed in that experience and now I'm betraying myself by doing these things to myself. I do them because it's a form of control from feeling so out of control. That's not why I'm here--to betray myself. That's not my purpose for existence.

 

[Hashi]

@StrongerNow, I realise that having dropped some "tough love" or whatever it would be called, into your thread, I haven't really been here. That's because I'm off worrying about the ways in which... hmmm, I don't know... maybe... I myself am not functioning perfectly... :eek:

Firstly, want to say that I think @Abstract has been doing a really great job here.

Secondly, want to say that, @StrongerNow - wow! I'm so impressed at how you're taking charge and so amazingly turning things around. You could have responded to feedback here with defensiveness and blah, blah, blah, and instead you've shown nothing but determination, insight and courage. Honestly, I'm a little bit in awe of you...I'm impressed by how you and your husband are working together on this, too.

I'm glad you're looking at DBT and not only CBT.

I'd also emphasis that grounding and coping skills are something in their own right. DBT skills, CBT skills, and any other type of therapy skills are separate from the basic grounding and coping that you see in various threads here in the forum. Basic grounding and coping applies, whatever therapy you're doing.

I know God knows where I'm at and he will meet me wherever I am at always.

I agree.

I also think you have a good plan.

:)