The Joys Of Trying To Explain Ptsd To Non Sufferes.

[Fadeaway]

My husband tries, but sometimes he just doesn't get it. I have been struggling with my anxiety and feeling fearful since last night. I have been actively trying to keep it from escalating if not bring it down all the way.

By the time my husband actually sees the outward symptoms of my anxiety, I have usually been actively fighting to keep the anxiety and fear in check for a few hours. However, last night he told me "you are getting your self all wound up." Those were fighting words.

"I am putting massive amounts of efforts to control my anxiety and you have the nerve to insinuate that I am causing my anxiety escalate?" He doesn't see the battle that goes on between my rational brain and my ptsd brain and body prior to seeing the symptoms, but I am insulted that he would think I would choose to allow myself to become like that and not put all my effort into not feeling that way.

So, just a few minutes ago, I asked him if he remembered the old cartoons where there is a devil on someones shoulder and an angel on the other? How the angel is timid and the devil is big and burly. The devil beats up the angel but at the end the angel finally wins?

Well I explained to him that the angel is my rational and logical brain. The devil is my PTSD brain. There is a war going on. The devil telling me that I should be afraid, and feeding me unhealthy thoughts. The angel is telling me that I am in a safe place and that I am ok.

I then explained to him, that right now, the angel is pretty beat up by the devil. The devil is more sneaky, malicious and doesn't play by the rules. At the end of the cartoons the angel always wins through good and healthy thoughts and behaviors. Even though my angle is beat up right now, the goal is for the angel to win, it just takes longer because the angle fighting by the rules in a manner that is good and healthy.

I told him please be patient with me, because my angle is a bit beat up right now, but the angel will eventually win as I learn to manage my symptoms in a healthy way. I am not getting myself "wound up" my angel is just losing this round, this time. You missed the part that happened in my mind where the angel put up a good fight, it just got the crap beat out of it.

I think this worked and he understood. What do you guys think of my explanation. Does it make sense?

 

[franciemarnie]

It makes sense and is a good metaphor for the reality of your PTSD primitive brain (which perceives danger when there isn't necessarily any around you anymore), fighting your neocortex or conscious rational brain, which knows all is well. It is your senses versus your intellect at war.

I hope your husband gets it and maybe would consider reading about PTSD and the brain so he understands you don't do this on purpose. Your primitive brain reacts instinctually and unconsciously, and has been altered by your experience of trauma.

It's nice to have compassionate feedback from someone, though, when they see in us what we aren't registering yet. Then we can take action to feel safe. I don't know if he was acting compassionately or freaking out from his own sense of powerlessness or what.

Metaphors are great in explaining aspects of PTSD sometimes, so that was great!

 

[ghotiff]

I like it. And particularly that the angel always wins in the end, but at some points in time the angel is not winning.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

It makes a lot of sense. I am glad this seemed to help your husband understand.

I told him please be patient with me, because my angle is a bit beat up right now

I like this line the most after the explanation above it.

 

[Underdog]

Impressive metaphor! I'll have to remember that one!

I'm also getting the "you are just working yourself up. Go do some volunteer work and be around people more." It got so bad he wanted me to specifically ask my therapist. Her response was: "that's not how this works and it is ill advised. For therapy of other things, yes. However, PTSD is a different thing all together." He was furious when he heard the response. Seems incredibly hard to explain to people what is happening unless you spend a large amount of time explaining it, but sometimes I don't have the endurance for that, lol...

 

[Spiderallis]

@Fadeaway That's brilliant!

Some of the people I've tried to explain it to are sci-fi fans, so I came up with a few terms they'd understand- time machines and landmines. If I stumble onto a landmine, the time machine might kick on and send me into the past. I'm working on marking then disarming those landmines, and being more aware of when I fall into the time machine so I can return to the present more easily.

 

[Barberian]

@Fadeaway I love your explanation. I think I'll adopt it as one of mine.