Ellabella44
Diamond Member
Quick background My mother and step father used wooden yardsticks for dicipline.
I had a really scary nightmare. I was doing flowers at a church and my mother and step father showed up. She wanted to hug me and I ran from her. She chased me, I would find a room to hide in where other people were. People I felt safe with as a child. They would notice me and ask me what was wrong. When I would start to say why I was upset, my mother would show up with a yardstick in her hand at the doorway and shake it to threaten me if I told that she used to beat me with one. And she tried once to slap me for talking about in the dream as well.
It got worse and worse until I was crying, rocking and shaking stuck in childlike fear that I would surely be beaten if I was found in a room alone by her. and It would be worse if I managed to get the words out so that whoever I was with would keep me safe. I hate how terrified I was during the dream and after I woke up. I felt so much better after my husband hugged me. I cried a little when he did, still afraid of the dream.
I hate having past events come back to get me like this. The sh*t in my head that happened put into situations where it didnt happen. Consequences of if I had told someone what was going on at home have been on my mind lately
I had a really scary nightmare. I was doing flowers at a church and my mother and step father showed up. She wanted to hug me and I ran from her. She chased me, I would find a room to hide in where other people were. People I felt safe with as a child. They would notice me and ask me what was wrong. When I would start to say why I was upset, my mother would show up with a yardstick in her hand at the doorway and shake it to threaten me if I told that she used to beat me with one. And she tried once to slap me for talking about in the dream as well.
It got worse and worse until I was crying, rocking and shaking stuck in childlike fear that I would surely be beaten if I was found in a room alone by her. and It would be worse if I managed to get the words out so that whoever I was with would keep me safe. I hate how terrified I was during the dream and after I woke up. I felt so much better after my husband hugged me. I cried a little when he did, still afraid of the dream.
I hate having past events come back to get me like this. The sh*t in my head that happened put into situations where it didnt happen. Consequences of if I had told someone what was going on at home have been on my mind lately
