Therapist Frustrations. Feeling Stuck.

[PandaBear12212]

Is anyone else really frustrated with their therapist? Since my visit to the hospital I am required by my college to attend 3 counseling sessions. My counselor is male, and whenever he asks me to tell him about what happened or how I'm feeling, all he ever says is "Oh I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" in a sort of condescending, coddling, baby-talk form. I feel bad because I finally snapped at him today saying "sorry doesnt change what happened and sorry doesn't help". I'm very frustrated when it comes to my treatment, as no amount of counseling or medications or coping mechanisms has helped me feel any better.

In fact every day I feel myself getting worse and I had another breakdown today where my counselor almost called the hospital. At this point I feel like things are just going to get worse and that absolutely nothing will help. Now hear me out, talking has not helped me forget what happened, and therefore it has not stopped the flashbacks. I am constantly having flashbacks, in flight-or-fight mode, living in constant fear. I can be totally fine but as soon as I have a flashback my whole day is a downwards spiral. I feel very frustrated, angry, and stuck. I'm having violent, graphic, detailed suicidal ideations and it's so intense to the point where I can not see myself even a week from now. I feel like I shouldn't have to just cope. I feel doomed like every day for the rest of life I will suffer the way I am now. Is anyone else feeling the same way?

 

[Sunset]

All I can say is yes.

 

[mytai]

Hi @PandaBear12212, I have felt the same way recently, up until my overdose and hospitalization for it I felt that way everyday. Now it's occasional, but not as bad (overdose only happened 2 weeks ago).

I don't know what everyone's (meaning psych profession) view is on this, but I will share what my T's view is with me. My T doesn't believe in straight talk therapy, she doesn't believe that everything needs to be verbalized (the abuse) in order to heal. Flashbacks re-traumatize us, we are reliving what happened to us, and frequently at the time we don't understand that it isn't happening right then. Some things my T and I will talk through, but right now we don't do a whole lot of talking about what specifically happened to me. Why? Because it more often than not triggers me into a flashback. I'm not in a safe enough place to bring up the abuse without reliving it, for me it's partly because it only ended recently.

My T and I focus a lot on creating safety for myself, finding ways of coping. I can't move on in therapy until I feel safe, otherwise I will crash and burn. Talk therapy isn't for everyone, for some it helps, and for others (like you and I) it doesn't, or doesn't always help. Your counsellor should try and find other ways of helping you that don't involve talking directly about it if you don't find that helpful. Like you, I find the words "I'm so sorry" aggravating. It doesn't help, in fact in makes me frustrated to hear it, unlike you though I'm not good at telling people it bothers me.

I hope you have a better day today.

 

[Echo]

My therapist takes the same view as @mytai's. That's what I am working on with her, and I have also had a suicidal part of me from when I was raped at 20 shoot up out of me in the last weeks. My therapist works as a trauma psychotherapist and she specifically uses sensorimotor therapy moving, possibly, eventually toward EMDR if I am ever stable enough to have it. It helps so much for her to say, I don't want you to talk about it, but let's focus on what your body is doing and get it into a better mode before we move on. I do talk a little, but most sessions are about learning to ground myself, control my breathing, attend to what my triggers are and learn to avoid them or counteract them. Resolving, to some extent, my sleeping issues (my bed was a massive trigger and I was getting no proper sleep any night) has made quite a difference, and I know a little bit more about how to break flashbacks (and even recognise that that's what's going on). Having her explain the processes has really helped, too. As @mytai says, talk therapy isn't for everyone and it is a nightmare for me.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

It seems like you're not seeing a trauma therapist? Are you able to seek out a trauma therapist ?

 

[Justmehere]

This therapist sounds like he's not the right one for you. Coping skills are good - but just talking can make PTSD worse. A good trauma therapist will help you talk and process the trauma in a way where you are more stabilized not less. It will likely take more than 3 counseling sessions, but it is worth it.

 

[PandaBear12212]

I used to see a counselor who would work with me on Rapid Eye Movement Therapy (REM). As I talked about my traumatic experiences she noticed my eyes were moving in the exact same pattern as they were that night. Also while looking around the room my eyes would physically freeze up and refuse to look in a certain direction. Since breaking up with my abusive ex boyfriend I have seen multiple counselors and therapists but again, talking doesn't get rid of the flashbacks. As soon as I leave the room everything flows right back in

 

[InsideAWord]

As I talked about my traumatic experiences she noticed my eyes were moving in the exact same pattern as they were that night.

Wait, how does she know how your eyes were moving that night?

 

[PandaBear12212]

Well she made me aware of my eye movement and she asked if it was signnificant and I specifically remember my eyes moving in the same pattern the first night I was raped in october 2011. I was at him, then up, then right to the tv, then diagnoally at the floor, etc. When re-living it my eyes followed in the same pattern. Forward, up, right, diagnoally, etc.