Therapist Shopping: List The Best Qualities About Your Therapist... Go!

[Ellie2014]

While the title may seem like a joke, I'm actually completely serious. Started emdr with my therapist after 6 months of stalling because I think the whole therapy setting is just, well, strange. I'm pretty good at concealing the ptsd and depression and laugh all. the. time. This makes me a fairly like-able person (hello, no one wants to be friends with the angry chick holding an internal ball of rage). Unfortunately, this is a struggle for me in therapy because, while I know your therapist isn't your friend, I'm a people pleaser and that's what I naturally aim for. I realized this was a problem when I called the therapist in crisis for the first time last week. Instead of talking me out of it through my own personal resources, he actually brought up his personal life and how it would affect him if I, you know. Of course this was highly effective because I felt like a horrible, selfish person. However, he spoke with my psychiatrist and when I visited the psychiatrists office later that week he told me that he thinks the therapist may have been crossing some boundaries issues and to shop around for a new one. I agree with him because I can't go to therapy and deal with my issues and the therapists issues. I'm just not strong enough to carry that load.

So back to my original title- I'm therapist shopping and I'd like to know the BEST thing about your therapist (not looking for the negative this time around)..........GO! :)

 

[rainy_daze]

My experience of my Ts best qualities are she is understanding, she listens, she responds [isn't cutting me off when I try to speak and knows when silence is the right thing], she knows when it's appropriate to laugh, she can explain things to me at length if I'm not understanding something, and that's all I can really think of just now. Oh, and she's honest and genuine. For example, I said to her at the last appointment "Are you late because of the traffic or having to travel so far again?", and she replied "No, my time keeping is just really terrible today". I appreciate honesty. If she can be honest with me then I can be honest with her. She also has a love for keeping up with current research on trauma and teaching. She seems to genuinely have a passion for her career and a level of professionalism. I think experience and interest in the field of treating PTSD/those who have experienced trauma are extremely important qualities.

I guess it's what qualities will work best for you though. [Also, I've also been in therapy for a year and a half so it maybe took me a while to see these qualities]

What qualities would you want in a therapist @Ellie2014 ?

 

[Justmehere]

Here's what I like about my therapist:
Knows a lot about trauma, but still willing to say "I don't know"
Encourages me to tell her "no" when something is too hard or freaking me out.
Is gently honest - is willing to tell me things I don't always want to hear

 

[billie]

My T's best qualities are she is well esatblished with great credentials, very intelligent, very kind, has good plans for therapy sessions, can push me, will go the exrta mile for her clients. I am very lucky to have found her.

 

[Pakadlangitok]

These are just my opinions. I do not want to offend anyone because I have had a lot of VERY VERY BAD T's!! So now I am so picky, it is either these or no therapy.

1. Practices ONLY evidenced-based therapies. Evidence that is substantiated by SEVERAL studies. I have done EMDR with HORRIFIC results, and researched it. Not much evidence there.

2. Good credentials. I prefer a PhD because this means they are intelligent and intelligent people have a knack for helping us with our troubles and seeing nuances about life in general.

3. Good with history. A therapist with a good eye for The Human Dilemma will be able to parse out how much is just the crap humans have dealt with for thousands of years and what is specific to the matter at hand. This brings about REALISTIC treatment goals. How better can I get as a human, mortal and frail?

4. Old and wise. I prefer therapists who have been through life and know how it can go. Their kids have screwed up and come out of it, they have kicked the bottle 30 years ago and know how it can be done, they have seen hundreds of clients and know what to expect----the expected and exceptional outcomes, and never knowing who is who, but rooting for us all.

5. Feeling and empathetic. I don't like cold fish T's. They just turn me off.

That is about it. If I recall others, I will list. I like this topic and think it's a GREAT idea to list what we like in a T.

 

[Hashi]

Shares my beliefs about healing.

Trained and experienced in trauma.

Is an integrative therapist (trained in a number of different approaches). Therefore, she can respect my views on different approaches, instead of having no other ways to work. For example even though she uses CBT and EMDR with other clients, she accepts that they aren't for me and we do things like DBT and art therapy instead.

Is strong in herself and takes care of herself so I don't have to worry about that.

Lets me lead the therapy and decide the pace (I'm very self-directed) but will make suggestions and offer guidance.

Understands the importance of safety and containment.

Wise and insightful.

Compassionate and non-judgemental.

Strong therapist/client boundaries. Sometimes this has frustrated me in the short term, but I appreciate that in the longer term it keeps things safe and professional.