Tips For Helping Adults & Children As Victims Of Trauma

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TIPS FOR HELPING ADULTS AS VICTIMS OF TRAUMA

The following are findings that can help you to cope with the physical and emotional distress you may be experiencing as the result of a traumatic incident.

• Avoid the use of drugs or alcohol, including over-the-counter drugs to numb the pain. It can exacerbate distress and complicate or delay your recovery. Take prescription medicine only as recommended.

• Use this as an opportunity to strengthen the connection or to reconnect with your church or synagogue or mosque, with friends and family, and with other community resources that can be a very valuable source of support. Don’t isolate yourself...reach out instead!

• Eat balanced and regular meals as much as possible, even if you don’t feel like it. Good nutrition is very important when you are feeling stressed. Try to also regulate your sleep into a regular, balanced routine.

• Exercise regularly within your ability. It can help work off some physical stress symptoms, leaving you feeling calm and better able to relax. If you are feeling lethargic, it can help energize you and clear your mind.

• Structure your time and set priorities. Maintain your basic routine, but give yourself permission to skip the extras for a while.

• Don’t make any major life changes or decisions. Do make as many small daily decisions as possible to reassert your sense of control.

• Don’t try to avoid or deny reoccurring thoughts or feelings about the incident, even negative feelings. They are normal and talking about them with people who understand and support you will help them decrease over time.

• Do things you enjoy - find hobbies. Take mini-breaks, go out to dinner, take ten minutes alone on a walk, tune into nature, watch a movie, creative arts, pets, music, massage, etc.

• Talk with people you trust: your family, friends, co-workers. Don’t be afraid to reach out. But don’t be afraid to set limits with others when you don’t feel like talking. You don’t have to discuss the incident or your feelings when you don’t want to.

• Don’t label yourself as "crazy." Remember that you are having normal reactions. Write down your thoughts and feelings. This can be especially helpful if you have trouble sleeping or when you wake from a troubling dream.

• Put things in proper perspective. Many people suffer a traumatic event at some point in their lives. But there is hope for recovery - for a future that is bright and healthy, although different. Many have survived and overcome difficulties of enormous magnitude, and have demonstrated both gratitude and greatness as a result of their pains, struggles and difficulties.

• Identify positive coping skills that you have used in the past to deal with other crises or trauma and use them.

• Ask for help when you need it. If you are having trouble coping on your own, help is available from many sources. In the workplace, you may be able to get assistance from your co-workers, the human resources department, or the company Employee Assistance Program. For others, professional assistance from a counselor may sometimes be necessary. Finally, there are many community-based support groups - for bereavement, for cancer survivors, for the divorced or separated, for single parents, etc. This does not imply weakness or "inability to handle my problems." Simply, we all do better with a little help from our friends!

FACT SHEET: TIPS FOR HELPING CHILDREN AS VICTIMS OF TRAUMA

Children are just as affected as adults by a disaster or traumatic event. As with adults, the extent of effects falls along a continuum. Without intending to, we, as parents, may send our children a message that it is not all right to talk about the experience. This may cause confusion, self-doubt, and feelings of helplessness for a child. Children need to hear that it is normal to feel frightened during and after a disaster or traumatic event. When you acknowledge and normalize these feelings for your children, it will help them make peace with their experience and move on.

Following exposure to a disaster or traumatic event, children are likely to show signs of stress. Signs include sadness and anxiety, outbursts and tantrums, aggressive behavior, a return to earlier behavior that was outgrown, stomachaches and headaches, and an ongoing desire to stay home from school or away from friends. These reactions are normal and usually do not last long. Whether your child is a preschooler, adolescent, or somewhere in between, you can help your child by following the suggestions below:

Preschooler
o Stick to regular family routines.
o Make an extra effort to provide comfort and reassurance.
o Avoid unnecessary separations.
o Permit a child to sleep in the parents' room temporarily.
o Encourage expression of feelings and emotions through play, drawing, puppet shows, and story telling.
o Limit media exposure.
o Develop a safety plan for future incidents.

Elementary Age Children
o Provide extra attention and consideration.
o Set gentle but firm limits for acting out behavior.
o Listen to a child's repeated telling of his/her trauma experience.
o Encourage expression of thoughts and feelings through conversation and play.
o Provide home chores and rehabilitation activities that are structured, but not too demanding.
o Rehearse safety measures for future incidents.
o Point out kind deeds and the ways in which people helped each other during the disaster or traumatic event.

Pre-adolescents and Adolescents
o Provide extra attention and consideration.
o Be there to listen to your children, but don't force them to talk about feelings and emotions.
o Encourage discussion of trauma experiences among peers.
o Promote involvement with community recovery work.
o Urge participation in physical activities.
o Encourage resumption of regular social and recreational activities.
o Rehearse family safety measures for future incidents.

It is important to remember that you do not have to "fix" how your child feels. Instead, focus on helping your child understand and deal with his or her experiences. Healing is an evolving state for most children, but some may need professional help. If signs of stress do not subside after a few weeks, or if they get worse, consider consulting a mental health professional who has special training in working with children. In time and with help, your children will learn that life does go on.

Source: (Glover-Graf 2003),
Office of Alcoholism and Substance Abuse,
New York State
[Thanks to a grant provided by the Ctr. for Subst. Abuse Prev. & Subst. Abuse & Mental Health Serv. Admin.]


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