Hi all, I'm a new member and a little scared but I needed to vent.
Just a couple of hours ago me and my boyfriend got into a heated arguement. I suffer from ptsd and major depression. I'm feeling numb, my head is spinning and I'm tired of crying.
For several weeks I've been asking my boyfriend of several years that I would like more physical and verbal attention from him. I just wanted a couple of more "hey babe you look beautiful or I was thinking about you today." Well, he started by telling me how I need to go to counseling, not for him, our relationship but for me so I can be happy." Note we had gone to couples counseling for about a month in half, but due to us missing numerous of appointment the therapist did not want to see us. We missed appointment because he has gambling issues and when he spends all of his money. I have to cover bills, gas, food and etc. He had been going to group to deal with his issues.
He than proceed to tell me how he was unhappy in our relationship and etc. He thinks I'm lazy because there are times when I don't cook, when I don't clean the dishes or the bathroom. He upset because he has to do them. I was honest and told him that it's alot for me to be financial responsible for two people, that I work and getting my master degree.
When I informed him that my recents bouts with depression and ptsd issues like flashback, where the results of his behaviors being a trigger. He just didn't get it and proceed to tell me that I needed to go to counseling because of my childhood issues. He has difficulity hearing how his behavior effects me. He thinks I'm blaming him for everything.
He told me that " I'm so focus on him and I need to focus on me." Unfortunately, I exploded because he kept on interrupting me and I don't think he was really hearing me. At first I agree to go to counseling more so because he wanted me to but second I've been dealing with alot of issues in our relationship for two years that I can't hold it inside anymore. I'm just tired. Oh, when I told him that if I go to counseling I'm going to taught about our relationship because I'm hurt. He started to tell me what I should talk about in therapy. I remind him that the whole point of us going to couples counseling was because we both had issues with communication, we both need to talk about how we trigger each other. He didn't seem to hear this and focus on me getting help. I told him that my ptsd and depression are not going to magically go away. There maybe time when I have good and bad days. My depression and flashback etc. are trigger by situations in my life. I asked him if he could deal with this and not blame me when I can't do something. He said " I accept you for you." I told than why think ill of me.
The argument ended with me breaking up with him. I get tired of my mental issues being the blame when I get upset or I would like more affection from my partner. ...I apologize if I'm all over the place. Just needed to vent.
Just a couple of hours ago me and my boyfriend got into a heated arguement. I suffer from ptsd and major depression. I'm feeling numb, my head is spinning and I'm tired of crying.
For several weeks I've been asking my boyfriend of several years that I would like more physical and verbal attention from him. I just wanted a couple of more "hey babe you look beautiful or I was thinking about you today." Well, he started by telling me how I need to go to counseling, not for him, our relationship but for me so I can be happy." Note we had gone to couples counseling for about a month in half, but due to us missing numerous of appointment the therapist did not want to see us. We missed appointment because he has gambling issues and when he spends all of his money. I have to cover bills, gas, food and etc. He had been going to group to deal with his issues.
He than proceed to tell me how he was unhappy in our relationship and etc. He thinks I'm lazy because there are times when I don't cook, when I don't clean the dishes or the bathroom. He upset because he has to do them. I was honest and told him that it's alot for me to be financial responsible for two people, that I work and getting my master degree.
When I informed him that my recents bouts with depression and ptsd issues like flashback, where the results of his behaviors being a trigger. He just didn't get it and proceed to tell me that I needed to go to counseling because of my childhood issues. He has difficulity hearing how his behavior effects me. He thinks I'm blaming him for everything.
He told me that " I'm so focus on him and I need to focus on me." Unfortunately, I exploded because he kept on interrupting me and I don't think he was really hearing me. At first I agree to go to counseling more so because he wanted me to but second I've been dealing with alot of issues in our relationship for two years that I can't hold it inside anymore. I'm just tired. Oh, when I told him that if I go to counseling I'm going to taught about our relationship because I'm hurt. He started to tell me what I should talk about in therapy. I remind him that the whole point of us going to couples counseling was because we both had issues with communication, we both need to talk about how we trigger each other. He didn't seem to hear this and focus on me getting help. I told him that my ptsd and depression are not going to magically go away. There maybe time when I have good and bad days. My depression and flashback etc. are trigger by situations in my life. I asked him if he could deal with this and not blame me when I can't do something. He said " I accept you for you." I told than why think ill of me.
The argument ended with me breaking up with him. I get tired of my mental issues being the blame when I get upset or I would like more affection from my partner. ...I apologize if I'm all over the place. Just needed to vent.
