Supporter solidarity *fist bump*
It's rough :( So hard watching the person you love experience so much pain. So hard missing them while they're sitting right next to you. So hard having to hold back your own sadness because they are overflowing with their own.
Even if she's not comfortable with therapy for herself, I strongly recommend going yourself. Being a supporter can get lonely and, as described, it's really hard. You need support to get through this. And, who knows, maybe seeing you go and hearing about how it's helping you will help inspire her to take that step.
On the intimacy side of things, you will figure out what works best for you two in those fraught moments. My partner often can't deal with eye-contact or being touched, but we can usually still hold hands or I can put my head on his shoulder. Sometimes though all I can do is just be near him, it depends on the day. I've read some combat vets wives write about curling up back to back being the only physical contact that their husbands can handle.
It's all getting easier as his recovery progresses though :) and we're able to share more and more of the companionship and friendship that makes our relationship so wonderful again. "Just" had to persevere through the dark times. Wishing you all the best through yours :hug:
