Trying To Stretch, Not Push, Myself

[Underdog]

So both my T and Psychiatrist want me to start "stretching" myself, not "pushing", to be more active and involved especially now that I've been on my meds for a while now and have developed various tools and awareness. This is such a new concept for me I'm having problems with it. I'm so used to pushing myself and that's what got me in this mess to begin with. They say the more I stretch and am successful at it, the more self-confidence I can build. Has anyone else been asked to do something along these lines? What is your perspective on this?

 

[Underdog]

Thought I'd add that while I've been trying to do this, I've had some successes but a lot of steps taken backwards as well.

 

[shimmerz]

So both my T and Psychiatrist want me to start "stretching" myself, not "pushing",

This is, for me, a really good posting Under and I am anxious to see the answers to it from other members. I have an incredibly difficult time knowing the difference between stretching and pushing. I have lived my whole life pushing so really don't even understand what stretching is. Thanks for bringing this up, although I am not in a qualified position to respond with any real 'awareness'.

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

I struggle with this too. Maybe it's about understanding where our limits are and going close to them but not crossing over?

 

[Maxi]

Hey @Underdog I too tend to spend a lot of my time trying to push myself and overdoing things. My old T used to always say 'take babysteps', so stretch yourself by trying something you're mildly uncomfortable with, but not something which terrifies you and then before you know it you'll have achieved something big, all just through taking babysteps.

Well done on the achievements you have made by the way :) I think when it comes to stretching I tend to go forward and backwards, but progress is still made (because the act of doing something which you know if helping you grow builds confidence) so try not to be discouraged when things don't work out.

To use a personal example, the anxiety in my life manifests as major avoidance and I was becoming a little agoraphobic and because my natural response is to push myself I set a big goal to try and to go to all of these different places everyday. Of course given my mental state I failed miserably at this, as I pushed myself too much, but through stretching myself a little every other day, by maybe going to a coffee shop, or meeting a friend for lunch and doing lots of little things I've noticed that I've gained a lot more tolerance for activities which I feared and am able to approach more situations than I used to be able to. I'm still not a social butterfly and there are still lots of everyday things I struggle to do, but I have definitely gained more through stretching out of my comfort zone than I did when I tried to push myself too much. One thing I will say is that stretching yourself requires a little more patience, especially if you're like me and like to see results fast, but long term it may work better than just diving in.

 

[Friday]

To me, stretching is seeing what I can do.

Pushing is making myself do what I can see.

 

[Ronin]

To me stretching is looking for new horizons, and achieving them. Pushing is going for the 'should's', starting with familiar perspective, not exploring so much.

 

[Born to Run]

Pushing to me sounds like crossing one's boundaries/limitations/imperfections, due to not knowing them and/or not accepting them. Stretching would be to be aware of your boundaries, and behave in a way that you accept and respect them, which is eventually about self-acceptance.

 

[Underdog]

I'm certainly learning stretching, but sometimes it still feels like pushing. Like right now I want to get outside and finish picking leaves up, get soaker hoses down in the garden and just tidy things up outside. But with everything going on in the news right now my brain is fuzzy and I'm physically shaking. Decided that I was pushing so came inside to lay down, calm down and take more Xanax. Guess that's part of the stretching is learning when you've hit a barrier, huh...

 

[The Albatross]

I do both... stretch and push. I like Friday's definition of "push", that's pretty much the way I see it too.