WideEyedMan
New Here
Hi all, I am new here (I just found this forum today) and I wanted to share a little bit about my story. Any positive affirmations or expressions of support are welcome. I don't intend to continue responding to things in this thread, and I am doing this as a way to put myself out there rather than engage in ongoing conversation.
I am 35 years old. I have slowly been accepting that I have cPTSD for about the last 12 years since the first time I walked into a therapist's office. I have come to understand that the patterns of dissociation, hyperarousal, fawn, and freeze that I experience are a result of the combination of my traumatic birth (born 6 weeks early by C-section due to mother getting pre-eclampsia) and the emotional neglect I suffered in childhood due to my mother having undiagnosed cPTSD and my father's general emotional avoidance.
I have explored a variety of treatment approaches over the years as my understanding of the nature of mental health issues has evolved including therapy, support groups, group therapy, psychedelics, healing communities, 12-step programs, etc.
Since I got married about 5 years ago, I have become increasingly hopeless about my ability to be a fully functioning, actualized adult which I can now see is a direct result of the emotional closeness required in my marriage triggering all sorts of cPTSD stuff. In the last week or so something has shifted inside of me and I am now unwilling to accept hopelessness anymore. There is a way to heal the emotions, nervous system dysregulation, and behavioral patterns I have been stuck in throughout my life and I am willing to do what it takes to discover what those are and to apply them!
Like I said, I just wanted to put some of my story out there and my intentions as a member of this forum in a community where I trust you all would get it.
I am 35 years old. I have slowly been accepting that I have cPTSD for about the last 12 years since the first time I walked into a therapist's office. I have come to understand that the patterns of dissociation, hyperarousal, fawn, and freeze that I experience are a result of the combination of my traumatic birth (born 6 weeks early by C-section due to mother getting pre-eclampsia) and the emotional neglect I suffered in childhood due to my mother having undiagnosed cPTSD and my father's general emotional avoidance.
I have explored a variety of treatment approaches over the years as my understanding of the nature of mental health issues has evolved including therapy, support groups, group therapy, psychedelics, healing communities, 12-step programs, etc.
Since I got married about 5 years ago, I have become increasingly hopeless about my ability to be a fully functioning, actualized adult which I can now see is a direct result of the emotional closeness required in my marriage triggering all sorts of cPTSD stuff. In the last week or so something has shifted inside of me and I am now unwilling to accept hopelessness anymore. There is a way to heal the emotions, nervous system dysregulation, and behavioral patterns I have been stuck in throughout my life and I am willing to do what it takes to discover what those are and to apply them!
Like I said, I just wanted to put some of my story out there and my intentions as a member of this forum in a community where I trust you all would get it.
