I've suffered with PTSD for 3 years, diagnosed 2 years ago, made much worse following a second assault 1 year ago.
I have experienced nightmares on different levels ever since my first trauma but since last year they are so much worse. I think the reason for this is that during my first assault my drink was spiked by a friend who wanted more and my memory of it was very hazy, whereas I was completely sober and aware during my second and was actively trying to fight back throughout.
After the second assault, my attacker became very aggressive in the following weeks, making threats, turning up at my work, playing control games with me and making me feel absolutely terrified.
For months I was having nightmares more or less every night, waking up swimming in sweat, talking and twitching in my sleep and sometimes waking up in tears.
It's a year on now, I don't have the sweats any more and my sleep doesn't suffer every night but I still have the most vivid nightmares. I'll remember them in detail as soon as I wake up and what's strange is that they will be so realistic, in the way that I will feel my panic and terror as if it was real.
3 years ago my nightmares would be very short, vague and general but they're nothing like that now. I dream from my own perspective and I'll scream and act as if I'm consciously in control of my dream self.
I had one last night where I was in a shop and he came over to me, I panicked and he started grabbing me by the throat and saying things to me, he has the most evil presence about him. He kept grabbing my throat every time I tried to speak and it was hurting, I could feel the pressure and my heart thumping. He wanted me to belong to him (he was very obsessive) and there would be nothing I could do about it.
My Therapist told me that a traumatic event cannot store as a memory like a normal event and lives in part of the brain cropping up in dreams and intrusive thoughts/images.
My dreams really get to me because I can feel them as if they were real. I am absolutely terrified of my attacker so I know that I will always have that terror but has anyone got any advice?
Sorry for the essay.
I have experienced nightmares on different levels ever since my first trauma but since last year they are so much worse. I think the reason for this is that during my first assault my drink was spiked by a friend who wanted more and my memory of it was very hazy, whereas I was completely sober and aware during my second and was actively trying to fight back throughout.
After the second assault, my attacker became very aggressive in the following weeks, making threats, turning up at my work, playing control games with me and making me feel absolutely terrified.
For months I was having nightmares more or less every night, waking up swimming in sweat, talking and twitching in my sleep and sometimes waking up in tears.
It's a year on now, I don't have the sweats any more and my sleep doesn't suffer every night but I still have the most vivid nightmares. I'll remember them in detail as soon as I wake up and what's strange is that they will be so realistic, in the way that I will feel my panic and terror as if it was real.
3 years ago my nightmares would be very short, vague and general but they're nothing like that now. I dream from my own perspective and I'll scream and act as if I'm consciously in control of my dream self.
I had one last night where I was in a shop and he came over to me, I panicked and he started grabbing me by the throat and saying things to me, he has the most evil presence about him. He kept grabbing my throat every time I tried to speak and it was hurting, I could feel the pressure and my heart thumping. He wanted me to belong to him (he was very obsessive) and there would be nothing I could do about it.
My Therapist told me that a traumatic event cannot store as a memory like a normal event and lives in part of the brain cropping up in dreams and intrusive thoughts/images.
My dreams really get to me because I can feel them as if they were real. I am absolutely terrified of my attacker so I know that I will always have that terror but has anyone got any advice?
Sorry for the essay.
