Want To Jump Off This Rollercoaster!

[piglet]

There is so much happening that my head hurts! Still trying to deal with affter effects of visiting parents. Just got a letter from NHS saying that I have been referred for therapy, but there is a waiting list. They recommend a self-help book and that I speak to my GP if I require urgent help. Also have private doc visit for the first time on Monday - not a clue about how that will go, or if I might get some answers. Also returning to work on Monday, with the start of a new term with no idea what my timetable will be and no prep done.

I can't concentrate on anything today. I can't sit still, yet I'm knackered and could do with resting. This is so bloody frustrating!!!!!!

I want to get off!!!!!!!!!!!! :loopy:

 

[anthony]

Yep... don't we all. I'm actually shocked that you even got this posted, because during whilst you where doing this post, I am playing with the .htaccess file, blocking out all the nasty little bastards who are illegally scraping the content from this site to exploit for profitable gain. The site drops in and out every minute or so...

I am posting though at the moment, so nothing is going to drop out.

Anyway... doesn't lack of concentration just suck? I must off been going out in sympathy with you then today, as I have gotten a bit ill this afternoon, and still am at the moment. Fighting it, but the physical stuff is still present... so I guess the mental stuff is as well, just that I don't think it jumps out at me as much!

Been for a walk yet?

 

[piglet]

Been for three walks already today. Dog is knackered. Ipod is recharging. I'm not exactly bursting with energy myself. Have eaten all my easter eggs to up my calorie intake. Will have to go back to the chocolate biscuits now that they're all gone. :(

Should really try eating something vaguely healthy today as I've not done too well the last few days. :naughty: And yes I know that healthy eating is all part of looking after myself!

I am really starting to think that I should not be going back to work. On the other hand, this might be the anxiety or depression making me think this way.... that is why I think it's worth paying to see a private doc who knows all about trauma related stress. I'm much more likely to follow the advice that doc gives - I hope!

 

[anthony]

Yer... how many times have you already read here about the crap people go through with diagnosis... two, three.... ten doctors before finding the right one that your actually going to open up too and tell them some of whats going on... that I fighting past the morons that want you to break down at their feet just to show them more about you....

Yes you naughty girl... healthy eating helps maintain a healthy mind.

 

[piglet]

Yes you naughty girl... healthy eating helps maintain a healthy mind.

But chocolate is so nice - surely you can live off it?

 

[YoungAndAngry]

Piglet, hang on, days like these just plain suck.

I can't concentrate on anything today. I can't sit still, yet I'm knackered and could do with resting. This is so bloody frustrating!!!!!!

I've been feeling the same way the last couple of days. Wasn't even able to write anything down in my journal, the concentration just isn't there. And I couldn't of expressed the way I was feeling any better than you were able to.

My mind races, I try to keep myself busy, but I end up struggleing to even get started on anything, let alone finish it. I'm too exhausted to do things, but to anxious to sit still. :dont-know

 

[anthony]

Geez... is there something in the water off late... I had a crap day for the last couple of days, and still a bit seedy from whatever was bothering me... in that I have no idea, it just happens! Damn....

 

[madjon]

chocolate is good but you cant live off it, even the longest rollercoaster ride ends sometime, jumping just means you fall, days come and days go, try and eatwell , if not try vitamin tablets they help for a while.

 

[piglet]

Ok. I'm eating properly, resting more than I have been able to recently, but I can't bloody sleep!!!! I'm absolutely knackered - had to stop several times when walking the dog today. I've got the shakes something stupid too.

I've done the hot bath thing too, but I just can't relax and go to sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a really big day for me and I wanted to be rested up for it. I've tried everything (except drugs), but I just can't switch off. :wall:

The resident students all come back today, so I'll get much less peace and quiet than I have been getting. I'm almost desperate to the point of asking for some drugs to knock me out, but my doc said that they could make my nightmares worse - not sure that's possible, but really don't want to find out!!!!!

 

[anthony]

Breathe, relax, and believe in yourself piglet! Look, I know fair well that the same circumstances would make me as anxious as all hell... but I know I could cope to get there, give it a try, be honest with myself about how it makes me feel... and if I fell apart, then I would leave again before I got too bad within myself, so I could recover easily enough.

It sounds strange I guess, because going to work without PTSD is easy... no problems at all... but with PTSD... a large stepping stone. Buts that all it is... a stepping stone. Give it a go... and thats all you can do, is your best. If PTSD gets in the way, and you really can't cope with it all, then leave, but you need to give it a fair crack first.

I have come to terms with the reasoning, that some people can work with PTSD, some cannot. That is generally a direct reflection on the severity of the trauma to them (YOU), not how anyone else perceives the trauma. Don't beat yourself up if you can't do it, but also don't beat yourself up if you can... We must really push ourselves at times to get motivated and moving... and this is just another one of those times.

You just take it easy, breathe lots, tell yourself "the world isn't actually a bad place, its just the thoughts in my head" and see how you go. Most of the problems are within us, not the world around us. We need to remember that, even though the world itself may not off been the best to us our entire lives, it is also not against us either.

 

[piglet]

Such words of wisdom! Thankyou Anthony.

Well, the place has been over-run by students again and car parking spaces are at a premium. I am actually wondering if the return of all the noise might even settle me a bit. Here's hoping!:sleep:

 

[livelysue]

I agree there must be something in the water lately or the air. I have been feeling blue of late too. I wish you luck with your doctor visit and God Bless You.:crazy-eye