General What Does Your Vet Do To Relax?

[holdenmonty]

For me I like to go for a walk/run or work out in general. I also really enjoy photography but I have a hard time allowing myself time away from the wife and kids so I can go out and take some amazing pictures because I must admit with a three year old and a one year old getting to certain areas and even just being able to take some great pictures is pretty much impossible.

 

[Deleted member 29874]

It depends what mine does. Sometimes he plays a video game, at other times he lets me do a back massage on him.

And recently it's often using the chat on this site. There he can vent steam and calm down with other sufferers.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

I am curious if your guy is German or American or English. ;)

 

[holdenmonty]

It might sound kind of wrong of me but the things that help me relax the most is when I'm doing something on my own like I signed up to be part of a wounded warrior project local bicycling group and do monthly rides and even though family support members are allowed to be apart I signed up just myself because I'm able to logically explain it to myself better because I don't know what the rides will entail and if my wife comes along then we will have to find a sitter for the boys or bring them with us and I don't know how that would work out because our oldest has only ridden on a tricycle a little bit but his legs are still a little short to reach the peddles and trying to keep them happy. It's just easier for me to do it on my own. Maybe that's why the things that tend to help me relax are things that I can do by myself when I feel like doing them by myself and not feeling guilty for doing them on my own because when I bring the wife and boys along I am focused on them and making sure they are having a good time instead of allowing myself to relax.

 

[Deleted member 29874]

I am curious if your guy is German or American or English. ;)

My guy? He's german. But why do you ask? :eek:

 

[Deleted member 28812]

Because I could give you some links to sites and institutions that might be helpful if he is a German vet - if you want me to - maybe you already have enough links.

I asked because I know some German girls are with American or English guys who had been stationed in Germany. That's why I asked.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

@holdenmonty: To be very honest: I like to relax without my kids. I feel a little ashamed to admit this. With the kids I feel always on duty and I do know that this is worse for a guy with PTSd because hypervigilance plays into it, isn't it?

 

[holdenmonty]

I totally agree it is true though when you have others with you. I know I at least tend to feel the same with feeling on guard and focusing on them and keeping them safe and having fun. I hate to admit this but it tends to be the same way when it's just me and my wife but it's not as bad when it's just me and my wife as it is when it's the whole family. For example the whole family went to Texas Roadhouse (a chain restaurant steak house) and I ordered my stake medium rare but my steak was closer to medium well but I didn't really care as long as my wife's food was good and my boys food was good until the waitress came back and said that looks like it was cooked way to long let me take it back and bring you out a new one that is actually medium rare. I wasn't even focused on how the steak was done. And about a week or so my wife and I went out on a date night to watch the avengers movie and she had a great time but of course me being who I am I had to know where the closest exit was and was aware of all the exits out of the building was and if something happened where the closest one was. If we had the boys with us at the movie I more then likely wouldn't have been able to enjoy the movie at all because I would have been focused on making sure everybody else was enjoying the movie.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

Yeah, I am not sure if this is hypervigilance related or not but my guy always makes sure nobody wlaks over me and this kids like when we ordered a pizza and it was burned he phoned there and complained that his wife had to eat this.
Like I said I am jot sure if this PTSD or just a character trait.

You are not the first one who told me about always watching where the exit is. My guy does it and I know a number of other "sufferers" who do it and I even know of one vet who took days and weeks to plan his family outings because he had to be dead sure everything was safe.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

*sighs* Wish I could go to the movies or a restaurant.

 

[Deleted member 28812]

Now I had two post in one minute in this thread. I know the mods hate it. Is there a way to merge them into one? Do you know?

 

[holdenmonty]

I'm still a bit anxious and on alert when we go to the movies or a restaurant but I have made a lot of progress and refuse to let it have an effect on my family. It's still a struggle but I have been working on it a very long time.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have hope that one day your husband will get to the point that you are able to go to the movies and also you could always have a ladies night out and go to the movies or a restaurant with some of your friends.

I'm not quite sure about merging them into one. I know that you can edit them so much time after so you could copy and paste so the two are in one but I don't know if your able to delete a post of yours.