What Is It About Us?

[Stanley Shi-Yume]

This conclusion is a long time in the making for me. The difference is..... talent.

It's a conclusion I derived from Dr Tony Attwood's opinions in autistic spectrum discovery as a talent above all else. Dissociation is also a spectrum, and I think it also points directly to talent above all else.

 

[Viosinger]

So.... On the original post... I felt the same way for years. I wondered if I was exaggerating things in my mind, especially since my family would never accept any struggle I have since I'm also the strong, happy, smart one.

Questioning the validity of what happened to me led to coping in avoidance. And that led to large, horrible break-downs when I couldn't he it together anymore.

It's not your fault. You're not exaggerating. And PTSD sucks. But we can't go back in time. We can try to accept ourselves, trauma & all and try to move forward to find healthier choices in the process.

 

[digger]

all trauma is called trauma because all of it is terrible. I think that is one thing we can agree on.

Yep.

 

[Sally sue]

Viosinger you're so right! I just feel like I should be old enough to be able to handle what life throws at me, but I can't :( it's hard to acknowledge or admit the I NEED the T, and being dependent on someone else scares me something awful...the old abandonment issues, argh! Is there another side where we feel all normal and stable?

 

[Lotusstarr]

I just want to apologize to the people I've offended. I feel horrible, and if I could change my original comment, I would! You are absolutely right, I have never experienced, first hand, being in a natural disaster, and so I don't know how devastating it would be. All I meant was that, statistically speaking, a higher percentage of victims of child abuse and victims of violence to develop ptsd, and why I thought that was. I realize that people from all types of traumas develop ptsd of course, and that all trauma is horrifying and terrible. Again, my apologies. I don't think anyone person is weaker or stronger, or that that factor plays any part in whether someone develops ptsd. A lot of good points were made in this thread.

 

[Justmehere]

@lotusstar It's ok. We are all people in process, learning about other viewpoints. You helped spur on good discussion.

 

[Survivor2Thriver]

There is nothing wrong with you, ptsd is a normal human response. Keep in mind that the word 'trauma' encompasses a lot, if we're going by the definition of an event that is life threatening, or sexual violence. This ranges from being an adult in a bad car crash, to being a child and being sexually abused by a care giver. It just makes sense, in that case, that some traumas are easier to 'let go' than others. Having violence perpetrated on you by someone who is supposed to care for you is going to shatter your trust in the world, among other things.

Yes. Nothing is "wrong." I believe accepting or "letting go" is key. However there's much more to it. I've suffered PTS my entire life. Most of my memories were repressed. I still had symptoms. Symptoms without memories. My recent flood of memories opened the floodgates to understanding my entire childhood. Relief and horror at the same time! My point is...my mind and body were reacting to memories I was unaware of.

That's remarkable and completely wipes out the "snap out of it" nonsense.

 

[tillybee]

I don't think theres any rules. We are all very diverse people so it explains why are illnesses and traumas are too. Each different and unique but we are all here & here for one another. Sharing experiences is the way we can help each other.

There is no right & wrong and no scales to measure. We are all one of a kind that's what makes us, our stories & opinions interesting :)

 

[Viosinger]

@Sally sue I hear you. I'm at a point where I'm just learning to allow myself to depend on people. It scares the crap out of me. From leaning on my boyfriend, a few ((feeew))) good friends, my therapist, and my sister, I'm learning & trying to let myself build those connections I don't think I ever made before. I don't think it's a bad thing to depend on others. Everyone does to some extent or other. People who aren't in therapy might really rely on brunch with girlfriends, or poker night, or happy hour as a way to vent, talk, relate, and keep a sense of connectedness. I could be completely wrong about this, but I'm finding that with PTSD... I want connectedness, I just don't want to have to rely on the other person at all. But to be connected, people have to lean on each other & accept some level of vulnerability (not something I'm particularly good at... But I'm starting to try, like sticking my toe in the water & maybe walking up to my ankles).

& you're handling a lot. Passing some around to a therapist or friend doesn't make you weak.

 

[WhiteSwan]

@Justmehere what your therapist explained about a traumatic event taking place in an invalidated environment - that is what happened to me and it breaks my heart.... If only my family had validated me and looked after me!! It makes me ask 'what if?' Would I still have ptsd?

 

[onesie]

Franciemarnie, and whiteswan, all I have to say is thank you. You both struck cords of positivity. I can relate, and I am so glad yall said what you did. Hard to put what you both said, into words. Beautiful job;) my heart thanks you.

 

[onesie]

It's best to not ask or think the what if. It will drive you crazy. I hate it too. People like all of us survivors, are extremely strong. We just keep going, when others would give up. We are fighters and that is a blessing. I will share my story another time. I am just now focusing on me, and my life is a horrible nightmare. Stay tuned.