What To Do When Have Lost All Hope Working Towards A Better Life?

[Jadie Rose]

Does anyone ever feel like "what is the point anymore?" Feel like I have tried EVERYTHING for decade and half and just don't know how much more I have left, at all, towards doing anymore work towards building a better life. How does one possibly snap out of having lost all hope and see anything beyond just black at age 42? This one, I cannot seem to see beyond simple black, sadly. All I have is a dog, that's it..don't want to try with relationships anymore and, work, HAAA that's just not worth it anymore because waiting for disability ALJ hearing and in no shape to work as hard as I used to (plus, no idea what I would even do these days).

Know it all sounds horrible, but I just can't visualize a future :( What did you do to snap out of such?

 

[AslinSparx]

Oh Jadie Rose, I am so very sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. I have been there too, many times and I'm sure there are plenty of others who have been where you are too. You're not alone.
It's SO hard when you're in it like this, so hard to see any positives, so hard to be happy about anything. What I've come to realize over the past few months is that ALL things are temporary, our emotions, everything. I have also found accepting my reality as it is in the moment instead of wishing it to be different or deny it which can actually make the situation worse- makes it easier for me. If I'm having a good day, well then that's fabulous! If I'm having a dark day, well that's pretty shit but learning to accept my emotions for what they are is the key I believe. There is immense pressure to be and feel happy all the time, and if you're not, you're somehow broken and need to be 'fixed'. And if you can't be 'fixed' and be happy all the time then you must be damaged goods. I call BS on that way of thinking! You are not damaged and you don't need fixing. You are a human being who is free to experience all emotions- good and the not so good. Being in a state of happiness all of the time is a totally unrealistic expectation that gets force fed to us.

Have you tried mindfulness meditation at all? I have found it incredibly helpful in learning how to respond to the gamut of emotions that I feel and it helps a great deal in helping me just observe my thoughts instead of becoming attached to them.
- observe your thoughts, don't analyze them, just notice them, don't judge them either
-adopt a curious mind about your thoughts, ask 'where do they come from', notice that thoughts are just that, thoughts, and thoughts come in and out all the time
-remember that you are NOT your thoughts, remind yourself the times when you've had very different thoughts and
-don't block or suppress your thoughts, try loving and accepting them (but don't act on the bad ones!)

You're doing the best you can with what you've got in the situation you're in, try to remember that and validate YOU. P.S, dogs are great aren't they!? Who needs humans when we have our pets anyways ;)

Hang in there. *Hugs

 

[ladee]

You come here and share like you did..so we can tell you we hear you and we've been there or are there now.
You share what's going on or not going on. So we can, again, support and encourage you.
I have been where you are for awhile now.
I know to ride it out because it always changes.
I come here and read. Something will reignite your fire.
Happened for me today. Am feeling excited and motivated again.
Sometimes I wonder if it's just our mind and body taking a break. We work so hard for so long...and if there is a lull, we think something is wrong.
Possibly our mind and body are resting for our next adventure. Not trauma related but simply life related.
That is what I've worked so hard for..and now it's here and I didn't recognize it.
This may not apply to you at all...so in that case...I simply will share nothing is permanent..it always changes.
Sending gentle hugs if you accept.

 

[Deleted member 39333]

I feel that way all of the time. I work 19 hours a day so that I don't have time to notice it much, but it is always there.

 

[ladee]

Have you talked with your T about this and are you on meds for depression?

 

[Deleted member 39333]

Have you talked with your T about this and are you on meds for depression?

No. I refuse to take medication of any kind, and I have no intention of talking about it with someone who is a mandatory reporter. I don't trust him. Or anyone.

 

[ladee]

A mandentory reporter of abuse? Is there abuse going on now?

 

[Deleted member 39333]

A mandentory reporter of abuse? Is there abuse going on now?

No. That ended decades ago. Abuser is long dead. Manditory reporter for "danger to self or others". It would be his interpretation of how miserable I am that could get me locked up against my will. Not going to go there.

 

[ladee]

Ok. Then I wish you would talk with us. This is a faceless nameless place to share.
We can't find you...we only want to listen and let you know you are not alone.
Do you feel suicidal? And if so have you tried a crisis hotline?

 

[Bliss]

Jadie rose, I am 51 got disability for PTSD when I was 45, like you had to go in front of the judge, waiting for that was beyound depressing, no way to think about much else besides how I "failed" having to prove I "failed" life was on hold waiting for that for a couple of years, looking back not sure how I made it through. And it was so worth it!!!

The disability and six years of figuring out how to live best on it, have made all the difference. My last real job was teaching at a college, it was too much, all of it. the dog and I travel now, (like u, my dog and vehicle are all I got) I still have some symptoms to deal with and some down times like now, but overall my life is so much more satisfying now, I have control over so much more, it is way easier to make the best of things with more control.

The mindfulness has been a life saver for me too, like now when nothing else is working, I give up trying to make it bette or different and concentrate only on what is front of me, may not work for everyone of course but works well for me and I have tried non stop for thirty years to find what works! Wishing u the best

 

[ladee]

@Jadie Rose , apologies for the temporary hijacking of your thread.
No disrespect intended.
Sorry.

 

[Friday]

Sense of Foreshortened Future ... Is actually a symptom of PTSD. So prevalent that it was listed out individually in the DSMIV, although it's simply included as part of a block of symptoms in the DSM5.

It's one of my most persistent symptoms. Even during my decade of doing reeeeally well / virtually asymptomatic, that one was part of my daily life. To the point of needing to write reminders to myself on my hands in sharpie that "we have time" when I was hyper focused on doing everything now-now-now. This subtle blend of anxiety & despair that would simply take over, if I didn't actively work against it. And breathe. Nope. There is a tomorrow. Now is not forever. We have time. Snort. And that was when I was doing well! When I'm doing badly? OMFG. It gets so that I can't really reconcile the idea that an hour from now is "real". I can't see forward, much less look forward.

When I get in those places? There is no future? I have a whole lot of tricks for dealing with them / with myself when I'm in them, but the 2 best are; (1) staying the course (trusting that even if what I'm doing makes no sense now I know it made sense when I set myself on this course, so just keep moving from bright point to bright point in the darkness, and adjust course as necessary then. When I can see the future, and make plans, and am not just staring into the black but can actually see a point); & (2) Knowing this is temporary. (Like all symptoms, it comes and goes. So sometimes the only point is waiting until I can see the point, again.

It's less about being able to snap out of it. (No matter how much I want to, that's a lot like jus wantin to snap out of a panic attack, or just stop having nightmares, or not be depressed). It's more about -for me- looking at it like a symptom. Knowing sometimes it's going to happen, and work on shortening how long I'm stuck in it, how much it affects my life (limit the destruction!), how long it takes me to recover from it, and increasing my times without it.