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when I develop feelings trauma resurges

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My meds kicked in but like...I'm just not meant to date. They see me as a friend, they keep calling me their friend and I thought it didn't bother me but it does. Like people always do. and I thought I was okay with that but it's devastating me.
 
this is why no one wants to date me I'm disgusting. Now I have to get over someone I didn't even date because that's what I do because I'm a loser. I want to give up. I'm already planning on maybe starving myself the next few days because then maybe someone would love me, so Gotta sleep a lot to not eat. it's better than self harming.
 
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