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NevadaMoon
Hi, I am new to the boards and looking for some thoughts from others. I have intense feelings of love for my T and I long for my weekly sessions. The feelings are both sexual and non-sexual and I am finding them more and more difficult to cope with. I am female and heterosexual. I have shared this with her and she responded really well. She has been nothing but empathetic, understanding and validating of my feelings throughout the process so far. She has always maintained good boundaries and has never shied away from whatever I have brought to her. I 'understand' that these feelings are not all about her and 100% know that there will never be more to our relationship than the therapeutic relationship that we have once a week.
Based on all the reading I've been doing about 'getting through attachment to your therapist' it 'appears' I am on the right track and she is responding how a therapist 'should'. Right now, however, I can’t seem to see past the pain and longing I am feeling. …..I wonder where do I go from here? Before starting therapy I considered myself a relatively well-functioning adult (albeit I know I was suppressing many feelings from my childhood trauma). Now, however, I am starting to feel like a bit of a mess (inside at least). Thoughts of her preoccupy my mind and my feelings are more intense than ever. I am not sure how to move forward from here. I know people may suggest continuing to talk to my T about my feelings which I will do, but I just want to know that somewhere along the line there is an end in sight that I am not always going to feel this way. I just can't see how this happens....Does this only happen when the time comes to stop therapy and I grieve for the end of the 'relationship' or can it happen before then? Some things I've read suggest the need to 'grieve what I cant have from my T, what she can't give me or what I never had as a child'. How do you do that when you already 'know' you can't have it and 'understand' that you didn't have it....???
Based on all the reading I've been doing about 'getting through attachment to your therapist' it 'appears' I am on the right track and she is responding how a therapist 'should'. Right now, however, I can’t seem to see past the pain and longing I am feeling. …..I wonder where do I go from here? Before starting therapy I considered myself a relatively well-functioning adult (albeit I know I was suppressing many feelings from my childhood trauma). Now, however, I am starting to feel like a bit of a mess (inside at least). Thoughts of her preoccupy my mind and my feelings are more intense than ever. I am not sure how to move forward from here. I know people may suggest continuing to talk to my T about my feelings which I will do, but I just want to know that somewhere along the line there is an end in sight that I am not always going to feel this way. I just can't see how this happens....Does this only happen when the time comes to stop therapy and I grieve for the end of the 'relationship' or can it happen before then? Some things I've read suggest the need to 'grieve what I cant have from my T, what she can't give me or what I never had as a child'. How do you do that when you already 'know' you can't have it and 'understand' that you didn't have it....???
