Why Your Family Hates You

[shimmerz]

They are embarrassed of me and "disgusted" (her words)of what I say and how I am !

This seems like an over the top reaction Nab. Has your family always had this attitude towards you? It is good you are upset about it. The real danger is if you start to believe it. :hug:

 

[Nab4]

I am an embarrassment to them
I was the daughter who had perfect children, always worked hard, looked immaculate, happy marriage.
Now I'm the black sheep...now I've changed and I've been so ill im not what they want me to be
I feel like I've been kicked to the kerb I'm not worthy of my family anymore ...it's broken me x
I now feel what's happened is my fault if my own family don't back me then surely this is all my own fault.
I never dreamt they would behave like this to me.
I try so hard for them to understand but their simply in denial @shimmerz

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Please do not try to wake them up. I tried this as well and it changed everything for me and for them. I thought that we were so close, but what happened was they joined and teamed up against me so I had to cut off contact with them to protect my own family.

Spare yourself the grief they are not worth it. You will end up being hurt so bad in the end.

 

[Escape Goat]

Very well said, gizmo!

Now that I've found my true self after all these decades, my relationship with Mom and family has been redefined in every sense of the word.

Now it's time for me to move on and focus on what I'm really all about and what I stood for all along.

Those days of having a singular function of stress relief for the parents and entertainment for all 3 of my siblings are a thing of the past. Let the family all eat cake!

 

[shimmerz]

I try so hard for them to understand but their simply in denial [DLMURL="https://www.myptsd.com/c/members/10416/"]@shimmerz[/DLMURL]

Now it's time for me to move on and focus on what I'm really all about and what I stood for all along.

Yes, and that is you no longer being in denial. Someone has to break the cycle and it normally has to be the scapegoat. The others don't have a vested interest in changing the dynamics.

 

[Nab4]

I'm told both parents have been through much worse trauma and purely got on with their life's.
I know they have both had horrendous thing happen in their lives.
Apparently Im choosing to think how I do,react how I am and choose to have this all happening.
Can I get through all of this by holding it all in and trying to move
On ?
I think I can cut off the world , so work when I have to as I am now but that will be all I can cope with.
If people don't see me I'm not upsetting anyone or being judged.
Is this all my fault as my parents seem to think it is and I'm embarrassing the family.

 

[shimmerz]

I'm told both parents have been through much worse trauma and purely got on with their life's.

And perhaps by them doing so they caused damage to you. I mean at the time of your parents (I am guessing), there wasn't much information on trauma. And talking about it? Uh uh. No.Way.No.How.

Damaged people have the capacity of causing further damage to people. Especially little ones. I would like to think that with this information on trauma and personality types that we can perhaps dig our way out (at least to an extent) of the 'pass it down the line' family trauma thing. My way of thinking anyway.

 

[Nab4]

I agree it's a case of they didn't deal with it ...perhaps that's why they drink every evening for as long as I can remember.
The contact is now severed I think I've lost them x

 

[Anna Black]

Hello. Thank you so much for your incredible video. I am feeling very depressed as I am in a dark place. I feel you are speaking to me directly. My family are evil to me for unknown reasons. I am lovely to them but they want me to be in hell. Your words have given me strength to carry on. Thank you x

 

[Gadgie]

Quote......"I never dreamt they would behave like this to me"

I know exactly how you feel on that one, I was betrayed big time by my late wife and her complete family! I was totally numb to think all those years when I thought I had been accepted by them all, only to be stabbed in the back, in such a cruel way!

I think when I found out the truth, that I went through every emotion possible, in such a short time, I had no idea who I was any more?

 

[Celtic]

I just wanted to post this as I found it very interesting. I like this guy, he speaks about narcissism...

Shimmerz,

thanks a lot for this very useful and insightful video. sounds like truth to me.

 

[Pencil]

Completely missed this thread. Will be back...