Hi there,
A few months ago, a therapist suggested the diagnosis of PTSD in my care after learning of experiences in a previous job. A little more than a year ago, I was fired from my first teaching job under questionable circumstances. My boss was manipulative and scapegoated me frequently, writing me up for offenses like seeing the school nurse when feeling ill or going to the bathroom too often. Worst was his blatant disregard for the way I managed my classroom. He interrupted major exams to call me into his office to yell at me. He swore at me once in front of a classroom of students. He threatened to fire me on a weekly basis for several months until finally, when I arrived to school late one morning, he decided to dismiss me. I sought legal counsel through the teachers union but because I was very young and much of my experiences could classify as "he said she said" nonsense, I was advised that it was better for me and my future career if I just "moved on". I accepted a settlement that barely paid my rent and took some time off from teaching. Several months to a full year after being dismissed from my job, I found out that my repeated attempts to secure employment in teaching again were being directly sabotaged by that same employer, despite my never listing him as a reference. Only after going outside of union representation was I able to secure a cease and desist order against the man. I finally obtained employment as a teacher a couple months ago and am due to start next week.
I am crippled by night terrors that relive the things I experienced in my former job, yet I am embarrassed by the PTSD diagnosis. Everything I have read about PTSD suggests that my trauma isn't trauma at all...but the night terrors, flashbacks, and panic attacks when a similar situation arises, suggest otherwise. I feel ashamed that a job could paralyze me so much ad lately I have been doubting whether or not I can handle my new job now that I've had to fight so hard for it against an abusive employer. I still live in fear of this man. I hope I can find some help here and some great coping techniques so I can get on with livig my life.
Thanks for reading!
A few months ago, a therapist suggested the diagnosis of PTSD in my care after learning of experiences in a previous job. A little more than a year ago, I was fired from my first teaching job under questionable circumstances. My boss was manipulative and scapegoated me frequently, writing me up for offenses like seeing the school nurse when feeling ill or going to the bathroom too often. Worst was his blatant disregard for the way I managed my classroom. He interrupted major exams to call me into his office to yell at me. He swore at me once in front of a classroom of students. He threatened to fire me on a weekly basis for several months until finally, when I arrived to school late one morning, he decided to dismiss me. I sought legal counsel through the teachers union but because I was very young and much of my experiences could classify as "he said she said" nonsense, I was advised that it was better for me and my future career if I just "moved on". I accepted a settlement that barely paid my rent and took some time off from teaching. Several months to a full year after being dismissed from my job, I found out that my repeated attempts to secure employment in teaching again were being directly sabotaged by that same employer, despite my never listing him as a reference. Only after going outside of union representation was I able to secure a cease and desist order against the man. I finally obtained employment as a teacher a couple months ago and am due to start next week.
I am crippled by night terrors that relive the things I experienced in my former job, yet I am embarrassed by the PTSD diagnosis. Everything I have read about PTSD suggests that my trauma isn't trauma at all...but the night terrors, flashbacks, and panic attacks when a similar situation arises, suggest otherwise. I feel ashamed that a job could paralyze me so much ad lately I have been doubting whether or not I can handle my new job now that I've had to fight so hard for it against an abusive employer. I still live in fear of this man. I hope I can find some help here and some great coping techniques so I can get on with livig my life.
Thanks for reading!
