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You Know You Have PTSD When...

... when you have to ask, every half hour, what time dance lessons start tonight... even though they start at the same time every week.

... when you write your daughter's dance schedule on a Google calendar, check it every morning, print out the schedule, put it face up on a kitchen counter, look at it periodically all day... and still go to dance lessons late. Or early. Or at the right time, but on the wrong day. (Oh yeah- done that several times. Have also gotten daughter to dance on time... then forgotten to pick her up. Entirely. Dance teacher calls at closing time and I'm like, "OH NO! I should have known it was too quiet around here!")

And then, I really knew I have PTSD, because on the way home from dropping her at dance, I kept driving past the turn for my house. I had to back track three times. I was starting to wonder if I'd ever get home. And I've lived here three years! Wait a minute... where's my brain again? I just had it....:p
 
When at school, you walk into one of your classes and see that it is packed full- get disoriented, overwhelmed, and panic..turn around and walk out completely freaked out- only to find tons more people in the hall. No escape..panic, start rifling through your bag acting like you are looking for something to avoid looking completely crazy..and can't find anything to aid you in looking busy because you forgot your phone. Start walking aimlessly, gotta look normal.. or find an escape..glance in other rooms as you walk, pretending you are looking for someone and avoiding looking anyone in the face, now completely confused and scared. Rush to the bathroom and lock yourself in the very last stall for a few minutes. Get your wits at least somewhat about you and rush back to class, head down..plop down in your seat and try your hardest to disappear into the chair. Spend the class leaning away from the person next to you, afraid to even look at them. And your seat in every class is always one right by the door, which is also right near the emergency call button on the wall.
 
When you forget you now live alone and without thinking make enough pasta for 16 people (I almost considered an open house last night just to find enough people to eat it all)

When you say to the dogs ....ok shoes on we're going for a walk (oops.....with kids 15 years ago maybe)

When you search the entire house and every pocket of every jacket to find the keys to open the shed, then realise you already opened the shed and the keys are inside the shed :p
 

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