You Know You Have PTSD When...

[Anrish]

When you freak out because your best friend suggests to get two phone numbers for the flat you will move to. ...because you feel like she distances herself from you (she would never intend that, but the feeling was there) and because you realize "Why two numbers? No one calls me anyway....?!"...

When you want to cry so badly and even scream to ease the pressure, but nothing helps.

When you feel like a burden to everyone because you cannot do everything alone.

 

[Leah Morgan]

You worry your friends will ditch you when you tell the what is actually running through your head.

 

[Ronin]

You wonder how on earth did your life turn to cray cray so fast in like two weeks and then decide you don't care, because your 'worse' isn't returning, as you decided on it.

When finding 'f*ck' in your vocabulary means such a complete cognitive restart. f*ck means you're dealing & everybody in your way can just move it.

You still don't comprehend horrified looks of your friends though. I was just talking about the more normal parts of my recent years, as vague and 'no big deal' as possible. Facepalm. Still didn't decide what that means, but I have a big poster of 'your silence won't protect you' so reaching out & not lone-wolfing it is. Ha.

 

[Anrish]

When you stay calm on the outside while being treated extremely unfair.

 

[Anrish]

When you have a training course and begin to dissociate because there are too many people with you in this room.

 

[Changing4Best]

When you have an emotional flashback that lasts 2 days.

 

[Friday]

Will somebody please monitor my emotional state and get back to me, please?


... Aka When you don't know if you've been clearing your head or shoving it even further up your ass.

 

[Changing4Best]

I hope your emotional state has improved. We need to each be responsible for and aware of our emotional state! Put an alarm on your cell phone and when it goes off each day, write down your emotional state in a journal in detail and check what you have written at that time each day before that, compare and write down the new state.

 

[Ronin]

@FridayJones, muusic lists. No for real. They lie less than all the unintentional, 'I'm just fine thanks', lies we tell ourselves (and if nothing else you can keep track of awesome tunes meantime). Keep track of what you're listening to. Or what's running through your head as melodies if you're not physically listening to it at the moment.

 

[Anrish]

When you're not tired from walking around, but from walking around with many people around you...

When you rather don't eat, than go into a restaurant and try to communicate with the people there. When you freak out while sitting alone...when you feel watched and clumsy.

...when you feel that it's your fault if you cannot get what people are saying.

 

[The Albatross]

You know you have PTSD when you trust your dentist implicitly but you disassociate three times, you put yourself back in and your legs come up off the chair... and you have to concentrate hard to keep your mouth open. I was exhausted but my dentist knows I have PTSD and he just rolled with it.

 

[Changing4Best]

... when you have to go in for surgery to have your gall bladder removed and you are scared shitless, because the last time you had surgery in that hospital, you got a life threatening infection which took several different courses of antibiotics to get rid of. (Awaiting a call from the surgeon's office now.)