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You Know You Have PTSD When...
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Recovery4Me
VIP Member
@Flossy that's funny and rich. :hug: I understand.:)
When yet another new shrink asks you if you feel you have to stay alert, in order to live.
You want to say, "of course, you fkg idiot, if I relax I'll get caught offguard and go down the shit shute again before I realise what is happening".
I don't like feeling relaxed, my mind confuses it with feeling like I just might die soon. Or someone will sneak up and scare me.
You want to say, "of course, you fkg idiot, if I relax I'll get caught offguard and go down the shit shute again before I realise what is happening".
I don't like feeling relaxed, my mind confuses it with feeling like I just might die soon. Or someone will sneak up and scare me.
Or
-Is this what feeling normal is?
-I don't remember what feeling relaxed is....what is happening to me.....
When you wake-up in severe night sweats...pillows & sheets totally soaked. It's never been this bad until recently. So bad you even check your temperature for fever. Too soaked to fall back asleep...
Then laugh at yourself - because you have a fan to turn on to try to dry them enough to go back to bed eventually (or you hope.) You laugh because you realize this has started to become a pattern (nothing else to do, but laugh when you turn on 2nd fan to try to dry them...)
Then you're pissed. You told (stressed many times!) to new psychiatrist your bad experiences with SSRIs. This is 4th one in less than a year - always ended up bad. Yet you agree to try another one since bad off - then realize this medicine is making night sweats worst as side-effect.
As are other side-effects you have started to have recently making life more miserable.
Do I really need to go buy extra bed sheets, pillows, pillow cases to change at 3am every night? I don't consider that helpful....
Then laugh at yourself - because you have a fan to turn on to try to dry them enough to go back to bed eventually (or you hope.) You laugh because you realize this has started to become a pattern (nothing else to do, but laugh when you turn on 2nd fan to try to dry them...)
Then you're pissed. You told (stressed many times!) to new psychiatrist your bad experiences with SSRIs. This is 4th one in less than a year - always ended up bad. Yet you agree to try another one since bad off - then realize this medicine is making night sweats worst as side-effect.
As are other side-effects you have started to have recently making life more miserable.
Do I really need to go buy extra bed sheets, pillows, pillow cases to change at 3am every night? I don't consider that helpful....
When... 's/he ain't heavy' makes you cry years later. f*ck off with that phrase.
... We don't cry we avenge our own
... Can't do that, we avenge them by good living hermanita.
(I'm moving over to a 'I need a hug' thread. Cept I need one of 'I need a sparing partner'. Well no nevermind I have a sparing partner. Forgot calls to friends are a thing again. :facepalm:)
... We don't cry we avenge our own
... Can't do that, we avenge them by good living hermanita.
(I'm moving over to a 'I need a hug' thread. Cept I need one of 'I need a sparing partner'. Well no nevermind I have a sparing partner. Forgot calls to friends are a thing again. :facepalm:)
Ellabella44
Diamond Member
When for a laugh you list all of your symptoms by acronym, and discover that it looks suspiciously like an eye test chart.
Recovery4Me
VIP Member
When I feel compelled to add a door-jam, extra lock, bar on the window, in a friendly house-hold. (And my machete gives me comfort).
You know you have PTSD when you feel you are progressing as you have less weapons in your room.
You know you have PTSD when you feel you are progressing as you have less weapons in your room.
When you leave a lot of your weapons at friends', because some friends are better in other friends' hands while you sort yourself.
When you weaponize plenty other things (we're there again?) in the absence of your favorite weapons.
... and you're not feeling any safer, just more comfortable. Absence of a plan of action = more danger than all that toy fun. So SNAFU and flying on.
When you weaponize plenty other things (we're there again?) in the absence of your favorite weapons.
... and you're not feeling any safer, just more comfortable. Absence of a plan of action = more danger than all that toy fun. So SNAFU and flying on.
Recovery4Me
VIP Member
@Cashew lol I think we are in the same peapod on that. :clown:
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