Work From Home/remote

[Mim28]

What do you mean, exactly, by 'real opportunities'?

Do you have more ideas of what you'd need from and f...

Thank you cashew. I am so burned out right now that I don't even know what I would do. By real opportunities I mean a job with benefits. Many of my customers have been remote, so I've done a lot of work with them via email and phone and it worked great. I have to be prepared for a major pay cut, so I have to look at my finances. I've been in my field for 30 years and am considered a success. I get more responsibility and they give me more money and it's all become too much. I'm the one they count on and they tell me that. My body can't keep up and I'm afraid of what life will be like if I don't have this job. I'm just scared and tired all the time. So I know right now isn't the best time to make a change because my body and mind need to heal, but I also need to get real about what I need to survive. I think a nice quiet environment; working from home would be good for me. Then I can go out and see people and balance my life. There will always be stress I know, but for the first time in my life I feel like I may have to depend on others forever. That's terrifying.

 

[Mim28]

I have been working in the same field for maybe 2 or 3 years beforehand, but there is still such...

That's a good idea. A friend of mine was setting up websites for people. Of course, being my own boss scares the crap out of me too now. Everything right now is scaring me.

 

[hodge]

It does feel terrifying, Mim, but it's not the end of the world. Life goes on, and I know I wouldn't have gotten to this point in my healing if I had kept pushing myself as much as I was. I needed a seriously long break from the stress and that eventually enabled me to start doing some work again.

 

[Mim28]

Oh, and also, if you regularly shop at a local grocery store, it can't hurt to call them and see if they wi...

Oh, and also, if you regularly shop at a local grocery store, it can't hurt to call them and see if they wi...

Thank you hodge. I shopped last week and my family did it for me yesterday, but that is a great idea. My supermarket is Wegman's and they are so incredible, I am going to check to see if they have delivery. Just in case there is a need. I am also going to switch to mail order prescriptions so I don't have to keep running in there. I just want to simplify my life. It stinks because I am normally a ravenous eater and right now I have to force food down my throat. I have to schedule meals like medication. Your responses are so helpful and give me hope.

 

[Mim28]

It does feel terrifying, Mim, but it's not the end of the world. Life goes on, and I know I wouldn't have...

Did you say you were out for over a year? I sort of feel like it might take me that long to heal.

 

[hodge]

I could not force myself to work in the fall of 2007. At the recommendations of my therapist and my psychiatrist, I did not work again until 2013. Since then, I've been able to manage an average of 20 hours a month. Which isn't a lot, but it's what I can do. I've come to accept that and appreciate that I can do that much. I know it doesn't sound like much. I think I do appreciate where you are coming from. I've worked since I was 14 years old and have always been a committed hard worker. But PTSD is a real disability and I think I made it worse by pushing myself beyond my limits for too long. I don't really know you well, but I do detect some of the same tendencies in you, which is why I've been suggesting you look into applying for SSD. I was turned down the first time, as most people are (veterans are the most notable exceptions), but then got an attorney who specializes in SSD appeals and when we won, he told me my job now is to take care of myself. Sometimes we just need a little time off to take care of ourselves. This is a really debilitating illness and needs serious attention.

 

[Mim28]

I could not force myself to work in the fall of 2007. At the recommendations of my therapist and my psychi...

Thank you so much. You're words have brought me to tears but in a good way. You have brought me a moment of peace. I've seen a therapist for years for me but the PTSD was really just diagnosed last year. You are right. My job is to take care of myself. I won't lie, I'm still praying for the lottery, because you know what, why not me? I deserve it too! I'm lucky I have a supportive family. My daughter said if it got so bad I couldn't work, she would move me in with her and we would rent my place. Everyone has said they won't let me fall. I have to believe them that no matter what, I will have a soft place to land. I have an extra room. Maybe I can rent it out. I know it sounds like I'm giving up, but I'm trying to find ways to think of life beyond work. Just in case.

 

[hodge]

Mim, I'm so glad you have such a good support system in your daughter. It almost killed me, the feeling of giving up. But this is really a serious illness and it's not really giving up. It's moving to another goal which is to take care of ourselves and help ourselves heal as much as we can. For lots of us, that means not working for awhile. I sense you are having a really hard time giving yourself permission to do that (and I've so been there, done that), so I'm trying to give you permission to do that. Think of it as an investment in your possible future, where you might be able to work again without having tons of symptoms.

Um, I know I don't have to say this, but please be careful if you decide to rent out your extra room. It can be really triggering or even dangerous if you get wrong person.

Lol, by the way, my hubby plays the numbers on the Publishers Clearing House website every day! If you don't play, you can't win :-).

 

[Mim28]

Mim, I'm so glad you have such a good support system in your daughter. It almost killed me, the feeling of...

Oh, I agree on renting the room. It would only be to someone I really know and would be a last resort. I just hope I continue to have the support I need. You are right, I have the worst time giving myself permission to take care of myself and feel so much guilt. I have allowed my identity to be based on what others have thought of me.. strong, independent, hardworking, driven, accountable. Right now I feel like a fraud. I need to heal and I think my body is saying, "well, you didn't listen the first 5 times, so I'm going to scream really loud now so you hear me." I want to be resilient again.

 

[hodge]

Yeah, been there. But maybe it would help to hear that everyone has a breaking point, even the strongest souls? I've also had the same thoughts about myself, but they weren't true. You are not a fraud. You are dealing with a debilitating illness. I thought I was resilient, too, as I lived 20 some years after my last traumatic experience without losing my functioning, but it happened eventually. It scared the hell out of me, but I got my butt back to therapy, finally, and learned to accept that this was what was happening and I had to learn to deal with it. So, I guess, in an important sense, I did not completely lose my ability to hang on and use what was left of my brain to help myself heal from this. You can, too. :hug:s, honey.

 

[Mim28]

Yeah, been there. But maybe it would help to hear that everyone has a breaking point, even the strongest s...

Thanks hodge. Your words have given me hope and let me know that I am not alone. That maybe if I do end up quitting my job and taking some time, I can find a small job somewhere and then work myself back. You've been a blessing today. :)

 

[hodge]

I'm so glad for that, Mim. You take care, dear :-)