Those Moments When You Realize Your Family Members Are Worse Than You Thought

[Justmehere]

Those moments when you realize your family is worse than you thought....

I dared to consider spending time over the holidays with a distant aunt and uncle, and their son, and my mother. Haven't seen them in a few years but spent past holidays with them. It really was just a place my mother was willing to meet up to spend time with me.

Turns out, my cousin has joined a white nationalist group and doesn't want to be around me because I expressed support for ending the campaign of a particular person he plans to vote for.

Yeah, he can go screw himself. They all can. Joining a racist group?! I am not spending the holidays with those screwballs. What the...

I couldn't even process the whole thing at first. They have since re-invited me for Thanksgiving but no. Just no. Too much awful.

 

[Gs172003]

All of them or just the cousin?

 

[aut555]

Those moments when you realize your family is worse than you thought....

I dared to consider spendi...

Especially if cousin is on gov watch list right now. Belonging to radical groups with the amount of unrest by many different groups currently just would give me pause. At some point, somebody may show up to interview him for intelligence or what ever they call it these days. Say you have flue or something. Lol

 

[Justmehere]

All of them or just the cousin?

Just the cousin. I've only spent time with him like 6-7 times in my life, for only a few hours. Went to his wedding but just because he was a cousin. Never knew him well, but he seemed nice. Really nice.

Not gonna go. Too much family crazy without this as it is.

 

[EveHarrington]

Do you have friends you can spend the holidays with? :hug:

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound insensitive. I just hope you have alternatives to your family.

 

[Justmehere]

That's a really good question - I think this round of family crazy is hitting me hard because I'm not sure if I have anyone to spend the holidays with or not.

I think I have to find a way to tell a couple friends in my life I don't want to spend the holidays alone again.

I'm really scared to do that. I'm realizing how scared I am to do that. The one friend I have that already knows my family is a mess is going to be out of town. I'm scared others will look at me like I'm terrible or should be ashamed to not have any decent family to be around and that they might ask why.

 

[EveHarrington]

I'd totally invite you over! But I think you're 2 time zones away. :( I hope your friends are understanding. It's hard spending the holidays alone (I've done it before). :hug:

 

[Justmehere]

I would so enjoy that if we lived closer! :hug: :hug:

Thanks for helping me smile! :')

 

[lostforgottensoul]

When I lived in Kansas, 1600 miles away from family, I created a tradition around the holidays. It was nice. I put up decorations Thanksgiving night watching the plaza lights get turned on then a friend and I would go down to a homeless shelter christmas eve night and feed the homeless and id do it christmas day (if i wasnt working as i tried to work both days) and between those times id go out to buy myself the BIG expensive christmas gift to myself that i had been saving for all year long. That last part i still do and last year it was my 50 inch flat screen.

Im not meaning to say do these things but create some tradition around the holidays and that makes it easier to be alone.

I get having a f*cked up family, my entire family are all f*cked in the head!

Im sorry that happened! :hug:

ETA: Im not saying its easy to be alone for the holidays, it isnt, but theres things that can help, you know?

 

[scout86]

We could meet up in ND, I think that's about half way! I have a few not-in-a-realationship friends that I usually do Thanksgiving & Christmas with. That way it's not like you're intruding on someone's family. Just a few people with nothing else to do. If that wasn't an option, they have community dinners at a number of places around here and I think I'd volunteer at one of them. Or maybe check and see if a local nursing home needed volunteers to help with what ever festivities they have. You'll come up with something! Good that you figured out that was a bad idea BEFORE you got there!

 

[Gs172003]

That's a really good question - I think this round of family crazy is hitting me hard because I'm no...

I don't think I'd throw out the whole family over one crazy cousin but that's just me.

My family consists of MANY personalities. Some good, some bad, some in between. I try to ignore the bad, take the good and go from there. I pick which holiday things I do with them ( usually Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve) and that's it. Easy peasy