Dom Violence Any Experience With This?

[Daisy1234]

Hi you guys. I was in an extremely emotionally/psychologically abusive relationship on and off for 1-1/2 years. I changed my number 3 weeks ago and this is it, not going back. My therapist has identified it as trauma.

My problem is so many things in life are triggering me. So much seems to remind me of him. I still feel like I'm being abused/taunted because it seems out of control and it hurts to be bombarded. This has to stop. What do I do? Why is this happening to me? I don't see my therapist for another week.

 

[digger]

3 weeks ago and this is it, not going back

Do you mean that the relationship only ended three weeks ago? If so I don't think it's surprising really that it's all still very raw and affecting you so intensely.

 

[Daisy1234]

Yes it did end 3 weeks ago. Maybe I'm expecting too much too soon. I guess I have felt shitty for so long that I just want to feel better ASAP, but I will continue to be patient. I feel like I need to take more action steps but I'm not sure what. I went clothes shopping for 4 hours with my friend the other day and had a meltdown the next day. It makes me feel so vulnerable and tentative that my stress tolerance is so diminished.

 

[illusionist]

It takes time to process everything when you come out of an abusive relationship...there are a lot of things you have to build up again....your body and mind have taken a knocking and need to recover.

The good thing is that with proper care of yourself, you can recover from this.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Hi you guys. I was in an extremely emotionally/psychologically abusive relationship on and off for 1...

Well, this is actually a common problem, because once you have been abused you have an automatic memory of the abuse in which you will uncontrollably revel in for a while.

The most daunting prospect of past abuse is the fact that there are many abusers out there who display the exact same behavior. That is very tough to handle by someone who has been abused. And let me tell you, every day I go out there into society I see many many more abusers than nice people. Of course we are repulsed when we have to witness that.

 

[Daisy1234]

Yeah the other day I went into a coffee shop and the barista was this young guy who made eye contact and smiled. I immediately felt threatened, like he was trying to hit on me (was probably just being friendly). But the discomfort was very strong. I am afraid of most men now and think they're leering at me -- ex was a sex/porn addict who was always checking women out blatantly, talking about their attractiveness and occasionally giving details about sex with previous girlfriends. I didn't need to know that shit, told him it hurt me but he kept on doing it.

No boundaries/respect. I waited soooo much longer than I should have to leave, His (at first) subtle abuse started very early on . Everyone was telling me to ditch him, family and friends refused to talk to me as long as I was with him, but I was bound and determined he was going to treat me right, obviously a losing game.

 

[Anarchy]

the other day I went into a coffee shop and the barista was this young guy who made eye contact and smiled. I immediately felt threatened, like he was trying to hit on me (was probably just being friendly). But the discomfort was very strong. I am afraid of most men now and think they're leering at me --

Thanks for sharing that - I just realised why I feel really uncomfortable in some situations.