Siblings who still live with abusive parents: How do you support them/cope?

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

Diary post, for more context.

Anxious/getting overwhelmed.

Been thinking about how distressing I've found one of my siblings. Very traumatic feelings and sense of unsafety/danger that I'd get. I don't know why, it's very upsetting. Feeling unable to cope/terror. I feel ashamed and upset about it.

Wondering what happened at home that I don't remember, when we were younger. Don't know but had a cry.

I'm the only one who has lived with them who can say anything. I feel very responsible for their safety, stuff has been said/reported/etc. but nothing's come from it, I don't think.
What am I supposed to do? I don't know what else I *can* do.

I'm torn between believing something is/was wrong and believing I'm making it up.

I'm completely mired in terrifying/confusing/dehumanising/debilitating incestuous and abusive crap, there is always more of it coming up and alters referencing/talking about/suffering with it/being non-functional over it/wanting to die over it, but I have no physical proof or chronological memories to back any of it up. My "memories" are so distorted they don't resemble anything real any more. If they could be recorded and put on tape, next to my other memories, nothing would identify them as belonging to me.

Personally, I can work with what I've got, but from the perspective of trying to help this situation I have nothing... that another person would find compelling.


I don't want to see or talk to my dad or stepmum again. And I feel I need to protect my siblings. How do I cope if I can't do any more?

I don't know how to navigate keeping in touch with my siblings. Don't want to abandon them. Am not safe to physically be around them because of our parents.
Don't know what middle-ground options are manageable/available. We live far away, they live far away from the rest of the family, too.

Don't want to abandon/turn away from them.

I'm the oldest of 6, between two sets of parents. My siblings who are my dad's other children are much younger than me, so still live at home.

If you have escaped but your siblings haven't, how do you cope/support them/come to terms with it?

When I initially stopped living with my dad and stepmum I felt extremely guilty for leaving my siblings behind to deal with it on their own.
I'd visit semi-regularly for a few years, but now that I'm having as little contact as possible, I'm struggling to cope with the idea that I've exhausted everything I can do for my siblings. I want to be there for them but I don't know how.

I can't cope physically visiting any more. I don't want to abandon/turn a blind eye to them. The distance makes it impossible to visit for a day/otherwise meet up without staying at dad's. Online contact isn't reliable/in confidence.


This is overwhelming. If you're in a similar situation, how have you dealt with it?
I've seen and lived what it was like at home for them, nobody else has. Dad wants me to believe things are different/better now, but I'm not fast to buy that.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

It is September. Beginning of the new school year, difficult time.
Seeing my siblings go into a school year/age where I was completely messed up, seeing them and realising how young I actually was.

Then worrying about them, I want them to be OK, and not end up like me. Scared of anything happening to my sisters on mum's side, and scared that something is happening/has happened/will happen to my siblings on my dad's side.

Feel like there's nothing I can do about the latter and I hate it. Also feel responsible either way. And what if this is the year it comes crashing down and nobody will be there to help? Happened to me.