Hey,@Chris-duck , yeah. I've been thinking about your current experience. You're so brave and it's you and your situation that has got me thinking actually. Hope you are doing ok. It sounds a really full on process, not only with talking to the police about it all, but all the wider stuff. (For me, I wouldn't tell anyone else other than my partner and a couple of friends , I don't think I would tell my family...but maybe I need to think that through too).
Thanks, and yeah, I had absolutely no plans to tell anyone outside of close friends, but then my parents were considered witnesses so the police would have spoken to them regardless and I figured it was best to hear from me. I think the problem is, the information stops being "yours" after reporting. It's not disclosed, like when they speak to the people involved it'll be "Chrissy disclosed a crime between 09-11, any idea what that might be?" but they would still have been told. So I think I had to be in a place where I wasn't necessarily "okay" with my parents knowing, but I could handle it.
As for reporting to police, the police lady I've dealt with has been pretty decent and open. The issue in the UK is that people don't "press charges", the person reporting is a witness, so once the process has started there's not a lot of opportunity to turn back. Because in my situation its not me vs guys like in USA (from my understanding), its police vs guys where I am a witness. So pulling out is a witness pulling out, not someone deciding not to prosecute, cos that's not our decision here, it's a legal decision. It's a small distinction really, but important for if you report then change your mind.
I have reported shit previously and regretted it. I'm not entirely sure how this time feels for me cos I'm right in the middle of it. It's not been anything that I'd refer to as #traumatic yet, but so far it has literally been me and some police giving my side of the story, I'm sure shit will get harder once other point of views are heard. I think it's important you don't have a set expectation in mind, conviction rates are low, historical convictions are lower. So look at why you're doing it and what you expect from it. I know now, I've done whatever I can for whoever is being f*cked over just now, and I don't expect convictions, but it'll be there if anyone else comes forward.
I don't have a do it or dont do it answer, I did not expect me to be in this situation even two months ago. I don't think anyone can judge either decision you make, just look at what you want and expect, talk it through with someone and go from there.
If you have specific questions (my crime was reported in scotland, but it's english law cos it happened in england, so I've been talked through both countries procedures), lemme know and I'll answer as best as I can