Is This The Year That I Am Brave Enough??????

[Phantom Shadow]

God knows that I had this time of year. As so many of you have stated in other posts. Will I be brave enough this year to end it all. Almost every year around this time, I come up with a plan to how to do it. 2014 God was helping me but it didn't happen fast enough. My ulcers in my stomach started bleeding and I was home alone. I knew what it was after a couple of hours when my throwing up what like liquid coal that was about 10 am. I allowed myself to bleed all day. But the wife got off early at 6 an made me go to the VA ER. Last year I was going to cut my wrist while cutting up the ham that i had smoked but I was not brave enough. I can't let my wife think it was on purpose she will need the life insurance money. Plus I don't want her to think badly of me. Have not been able to come up with a plan this year as of yet. Any questions????????????

 

[joeylittle]

Have not been able to come up with a plan this year as of yet.

I'm glad. I know that thinking about plans can seem like you're doing something to help yourself, but remember - you probably don't want to die, so much as you want the pain to end. If things could get better, if you could have some relief, what would that look like/be like, for you?