Isolation, Paranoia And Withdrawal

[EmmaOwl]

Here I often go into chat and follow the conversations but am too scared to join in for fear of not being wanted there. I often feel I am in the way or spoiling the conversation for others.

As for this one, I think it's sort of the same thing I described - if you do not say anything, then the people in chat do not realize you are there, hanging out.

I think most people who use chat would not mind, if you said hello and said something about yourself, and joined in a little bit. That's how chat works - you can have multiple conversations at the same time, so you are never interrupting.

As far as I can tell, it's very light-hearted and informal.

 

[EmmaOwl]

I would think it would be a good place to talk live if someone is feeling low or having a problem, but most of what I see on my screen (though I am not on) is like foreign language, not something you can join in with.

I gotcha. I feel the same way as you do, that chat could be a good place for such talk. Unfortunately not. Usually the fastest I can get into a helpful back-and-forth is through people's profile pages.

Just my opinion!

 

[Esterio]

You know what happens? Often there are people listed in the chat room who do not know they are there....

Thanks for the post Allie D
I think that you have it right. It is driving me away from the chat line some. I still feel the need to be there as them someone is there with you and well you know we don't feel alone when shit has hit or is hitting the fan. I have been going and looking around some and liking to read and reply to post it is away slower you have time to think and maybe even edit so people can understand what you are saying. Thanks again it is good to know we are not the only ones feeling this way.
Peace be safe :-)

 

[Friday]

Maybe I am being paranoid I don't know but I cannot keep adding to my anxiety and depression like this. It's only making things worse.

The fast paced & in/out nature of chat doesn't always play nice with PTSD symptoms. I've taken several breaks from using it when -instead of it being a resource- it's becoming a problem for me. Other times? It's exactly what I need & want. But there's nothing wrong with taking a break to self regulate, for awhile.

It doesn't mean one isn't meant to engage socially (and never should again, or any other kind of 1+1=72). Just that symptoms are making it difficult to engage socially right at the moment.

 

[EmmaOwl]

It doesn't mean one isn't meant to engage socially (and never should again, or any other kind of 1+1=72). Just that symptoms are making it difficult to engage socially right at the moment.

It is great to be meet people who understand the day-to-day dreariness that can happen along with mental illness, AND be goodhearted about it. And people who understand mood swings. And "off" days, or "hyper" days, or whatever. That's why I like this.... I can show that I am truly screwed up, and I know I won't be ostracized for inconsistencies such as changes of mood or levels of participation.

 

[Esterio]

It is great to be meet people who understand the day-to-day dreariness that can happen along with ment...

Thanks for the post Allie D
Isn't that the truth. It is wonderful to have a place were you can just be yourself as everyone you meet has been there maybe not the same stories but we seem to suffer so many of the same symptoms and reactions to things in life. I'm glad that I found my way here. It was really getting lonely out here before. Now I'm probably being a pain in the ass around here but no one seems to be bothered. it seem like a good place to be.

 

[Bliss]

Amen to all the above! Really appreciate it!

 

[Hope2004]

Bliss, thank you so much for your reply.

I too always expect people to not want to know me, to hate...

I understand what you're saying in terms of fearing rejection. I on the other hand gives no f@#% about who likes me and who doesn't. This is because I have been isolated and withdrawn for so long. I just don't trust people. All I trust is God. I believe there are nice people out there, but I'm not ready to take a chance.

 

[Blue Survivor]

Don't be afraid to ask for help, especially here because we understand! Trauma is trauma, it doesn't matter if you got it from childhood abuse, witnessing an accident, military service, domestic violence or any other kind of trauma. None of us are 'better' than the others. I can't speak for everyone but I have 'good' days and 'bad' days. On good days I can get through my days without too much anxiety or second-guessing myself, on bad days I feel like I shouldn't even leave the house.

It is hard for friends to understand PTSD - sometimes you might be okay around them and communicating with them, but sometimes you might feel it's better to not 'burden' them. Do I think you burden your friends? Absolutely not. Do I feel like I burden mine? Yes, I do feel that way sometimes. Like when I tell my friends I *need* to leave a restaurant because of anxiety and they roll their eyes... I feel like I just ruin everything. I wonder why I bother trying to do things outside of my house at all. So I get the whole feeling like nuisance. I get the withdrawn thing and the isolation thing. It stinks. As do the bad dreams! I don't know about you but I seem to get them more after a stressful day.

I can't help you as far as what to do with yourself. But for me: if I'm not feeling going out and seeing friends, I am okay with staying home. I will catch up on books or tv, I might color or just do nothing at all! I give myself permission to NOT feel badly over something (PTSD) that I have no control over. I chalk it up to good days & bad days and I try to just get THROUGH days most of the time.

 

[Dannyuk78]

I am giving up. Twice in the last 8 hours I have been made to realise I am just not meant to have fri...

***breathe and centre***

sorry i couldnt get back on last night i was looking forward to talking some more, try (and i use that word loosley) not to take things like the chat room to heart as ihave noticed it goes into a silent lul all the time, normally until someone mentions coffee or chocolate :)

hope you are having a good day

 

[Debster]

I have exactly the same problem. I SOOOOOO relate. I am down to three people that will even have anything to do with me now. I guess 2.5 years of me still being traumatised, with most symptoms no better and many worse, is a big burden to others as well. I feel like the small group of 'good' people that supported me initially feel traumatised by endlessly trying to support me. I don't know any way around this, but to do the online remote thing where people are not actually confronted face to face with my PTSD behaviours.

 

[marblemaze]

I don't know if anyone else feels this. Just lately I feel I am struggling more and more to maintain...

Please know that you can have PTSD because of any type of trauma. You just have to have some, and not even all, of the possible symptoms. I was diagnosed with PTSD 5 years ago because I was having triggering and shutdowns because at the time I had just ended with being in an abusive relationship. According to my psychologist at the time, it can be caused by any type of trauma. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. The proof is what you go through every day, how you feel inside and how much it impacts your life. My opinion is that you should not doubt yourself about having it if you think you do.