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Why The Rage You Ask, Ok, Here's Why.

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Jar, [No Flaming ;-)]

I too have studied the science of our condition ad nauseum (and continuing the study as I can). I find these discussions to be helpful to me, because even though I think I understand the mechanisms, when you are in the maelstrom, you can see the forest through the trees (or the sniper in the leaves)! Meaning, I can identify when someone else is flailing about, but I sometimes I can't tell when I am flailing.

I can't even begin to imagine what you 'Nam vets have gone through for the last 40+ years. My own symptoms peaked after 20 or so years and only 5-6 of that were 'bad.' My mind staggers to think about four decades of that...

Understanding the science behind why I smoked was interesting but I was the one that had to do what was necessary to quit.

As many structural engineers are examples of: Just because they understand the physics and methods, does not mean they can build the building.

The reverse is also true: many carpenters don't understand simple structural engineering principles, but they can nail wood together like nobody's business.

J R,

Some how in my mind, I just accepted the fact I was a dead man....(maybe a DG/CE thing) they can't kill a dead man! Thinking back on it now......That is some hard cold shit, for a 19 year old kid Soldier, to be thinking. (A new door? Do I want to open it? Maybe, but at my age do I need to?)

In the book and movie Band of Brothers, there is a great scene about this:
Lt. Speirs: Do you know why you crawled into that ditch Blithe?
Blithe: I was scared.
Lt. Speirs: We're all scared. You crawled into that ditch because you think there's still hope. But Blithe. The only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. Only then can you function the way a soldier is supposed to function. Without mercy, without compassion, without remorse. All war depends upon it.​
 
Yeah, it's true; it's easier to see our problem in others than in ourselves. I'll always be interested in anything that sheds the smallest light on something new that I haven't learned before about most everything.

I've just gotten to the point, and for me it's a good one, where when I have an anxiety attack I don't try to figure out the why or where but concentrate on getting through it without loosing it. For me, when I'm in the middle of it it just isn't quite as important to understand the why or where than to get through it. Sometimes thinking about the why or where can make it worse for me.

And Drgnr, I can't stand it when people get too close. I laughed when I read your post, I'm exactly that way also. I don't know if misery loves company but when it comes to PTSD we sure seem to.
 
Yeah, it's true; it's easier to see our problem in others than in ourselves. I'll always be interested in anything that sheds the smallest light on something new that I haven't learned before about most everything.

I've just gotten to the point, and for me it's a good one, where when I have an anxiety attack I don't try to figure out the why or where but concentrate on getting through it without loosing it. For me, when I'm in the middle of it it just isn't quite as important to understand the why or where than to get through it. Sometimes thinking about the why or where can make it worse for me.

And Drgnr, I can't stand it when people get too close. I laughed when I read your post, I'm exactly that way also. I don't know if misery loves company but when it comes to PTSD we sure seem to.

You can add me to the list of; when people get too close.:) When we had our daughter, I did not know I had the Beast. I did however have a hard time with my toddler when she would come up behind me.......When she got a little older I had train her in how to come up to her daddy. Ani't that the shits. :poop:

J R
 
Hate eats you up. You have to let things go and focus on your own world. The people you surround yourself with. Be a positive person and give to others what you expect in return. Yes people will see that as a weakness and abuse you but in the end we all get what we deserve. I choose to ignore the effects of the suits and their supporters. You have to move on SD. Its that or it could turn you into something you despise. And I don't think that's what you want.
 
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I used to hate. Used to rage. Then I realized it wasn't doing a damn thing to the people I hated and those I raged at, so why the hell do it. It only made me drink more, smoke more cigarettes and put me in a permanent shitty mood.

So, I act like they do...inconsiderate, oblivious to their concerns, snotty, refuse to use signals when I drive, yes, as a matter of fact I DO own the f-ing road, then I found out it was fun!

Folks that do me right, I do right. Folks that feed me shit, get a whole truckload back.
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Sarg
Nicely done Sarg! There is quite a lot of writing or "wisdom" out there about letting it go. I'm trying to focus more on that myself.
 
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