Suicidiality just always a part of my mental state

[Rose White]

It just rises and falls. Like in a pie chart it ranges from 1% to 99% depending on the day.

It’s just there. This is the message, “I don’t belong here.”

But then something in the physical world temporarily distracts me.

 

[hymnless]

I get that. It's easy to feel like an outsider in a group or just in life in general. But you're not- you belong here. I don't really believe in a higher power, but I do think we're all here for some reason or another. Keep taking the distractions as they come. If they stop appearing, start seeking them out :)

 

[Ronin]

Even if you don't belong, you can stay.

'Belong' is a lot about other people.
Staying, for whichever you want.

 

[Rose White]

@BookerNoe and @Ronin :cry:

 

[Rose White]

I don’t want to die. I don’t. It’s *never* 100%!

It’s that damn programming. It just rises and falls.

I’m here. I’m here.

 

[Ronin]

I’m here. I’m here.

Good; keep on being.

Wait out the rises, wait for it to fall again.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

This is the message, “I don’t belong here.”

I think this is from the past and no longer fits but maybe you have just not had enough good experiences to be able to trust in yourself as you are yet. I do not know but one day you will begin to be able to fit in here because everyone gets you here. No need for explanations at all anymore. Just try to wait a little longer for it to all begin to make some sense and meanwhile take the best care of you that you are able.

 

[EveHarrington]

Hugs

 

[Rose White]

@Rain Yes, I think that it is an old program. Maybe it’s from when I was little, from the abuse. Back then it would have been appropriate to think, “I don’t belong here.”

So it’s like an emotional flashback I guess. Maybe that helps explain why it rises and falls.

Yes, I see what you mean about building on the good experiences.