Is it avoidance when i am really upset about bystanders?

[Mee]

I think it’s a bit unfair to not clarify that that was not really my situation. I am dubious about relating my trigger event but in a nit shell I was in an unhealthy relationship I did not recognise was unhealthy and during that time I was also raped by someone else he was in a relationship with. I am ‘ok’ about the rape. It’s ‘just my flesh’. It’s the relationship i believe to be my trigger.

 

[Gs172003]

I think it’s a bit unfair to not clarify that that was not really my situation. I am dubious about relati...

I dont understand anybody knowingly allowing somebody else to be beaten/hurt/ be about to commit suicide etc and people sit back and wait for somebody ELSE. Who the hell is the somebody else? Maybe that is one good thing I got out of this. I will never sit back and wait for somebody else. I'll be the somebody.

 

[Marinna]

I think it’s a bit unfair to not clarify that that was not really my situation. I am dubious about relati...

Does not matter how 'related' your trauma was. You went through hell. You had a major trauma. Other people not stopping other trauma? Yeah you can be pissed as hell. You are obviously a kind and decent person.

 

[Mee]

I dont understand anybody knowingly allowing somebody else to be beaten/hurt/ be about to commit suicide...

I agree.

I think my query is how subtle does it have to be before we are the somebody or before I can let go of my frustration that people aren’t some bodies?

 

[Gs172003]

My cousin was in a relationship with a man that threatened to kill him more than once. He was not allowed to talk to family etc. My sister (same one) got him a ticket to come back home. After that? Everybody just abandoned him. Except me. I don't get it! He just went through hell, you all get him here then just leave him to his own devices? Why?

Sorry didn't mean to detail the thread.

I agree.

I think my query is how subtle does it have to be before we are the somebody or before I can let...

What do you mean by subtle?

 

[Marinna]

I agree.

I think my query is how subtle does it have to be before we are the somebody or before I can let...

Sorry bud. I don't entirely understand this post? :)

 

[Mee]

My cousin was in a relationship with a man that threatened to kill him more than once. He was not allowe...

I don’t think this derails it at all. In fact I think this is very much part of what I am talking about

 

[Gs172003]

Are you asking how much do people have to see before they should step in?

 

[Mee]

Sorry bud. I don't entirely understand this post? :)

Like...where is the line we don’t stand up and say no?

If some one was rude to people here I think we would all say no, but would we on say face book?

What about affairs? Do we tell spouses? ( I did.) It was a similar line if vrosfinv I think people would have had stepping in to my relationship.

Where is it not stepping in and instead crossing a line?

No one stepped in to my childhood stuff despite several attempts and that makes me sad but I think if also confuses my line for adult stuff.

 

[Mee]

Are you asking how much do people have to see before they should step in?

Yes.... And what... How bad should the misdemeanour be?

 

[Gs172003]

Yes.... And what... How bad should the misdemeanour be?

For the perpetrator or the people that didn't step in?

 

[Mee]

For the perpetrator or the people that didn't step in?

Both? Either?