Any one know of support groups for parents of formerly missing children or traumatized teens.

[Fadeaway]

I am way over my head and in desperate need of support and desperate to find a way to help her. I try to send her to school and she get so much anxiety that she starts throwing up when she tries to leave in the morning, then stays in bed all day playing a very old video game she used to play when little. As the game is for little kids. Google search has failed me and the school counselor is a moron.

 

[Friday]

Victim and family support

We're Here to Help.
Coping with the traumatic experiences of abduction and sexual exploitation demands courage and determination on the part of the victim, parents, guardians and other family members. The master-level trained mental health and child welfare professionals at the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children® work within the Family Advocacy Division to proactively help families, law enforcement, social service agencies and mental health agencies by providing a support network for child victims and their families.

 

[Abstract]

Sorry to hear this Fadeaway. Strength to you both. I can't help Im afraid.

She won't have therapy you said. What about some sort of online support?

 

[ButterflyBean]

This might be a starting place:

Focus on the Family: Helping Families Thrive

I can write more later...hope this helps a little!

 

[shimmerz]

Does she have a 'safe place' Fadeaway. This sounds like it is going to be a long road for both of you. Does she have anyone she trusts for support in your area?

I can't even imagine how this is for all of you. I am so sorry.

Churches many times have support groups/communities for teens. Have you looked at anything like that.

I am just wondering too - how do you know she is ready for group stuff? She has to be very overwhelmed right about now. I could see that as being maybe overwhelming.

I expect she has PTSD?

Is she interested in any type of physical thing that she can sink her teeth into? Swimming? Martial arts? Running? Something to provide her a channel with which she can let go of what just has to be stored inside of herself?

 

[Fadeaway]

I am looking for support group for myself for dealing with issues that come up every day because it often feels like I am making things worse.

Spent the trying to get her clothes shoes and other things she needs, I don't know what she likes, but shopping stresses her out to bad. Full on melt down then running for 5 blocks as I chased her because it was too overstimulating for her, she spooked and just took off running as fast as she could to nowhere.

PTSD ?100% Swimming seems to be what she enjoys but she can't handle being around people for very long.

@HollyBeans27 I appreciate the response but focus on the family needs to start taking responsibility for their own crimes against children and stop covering up child abuse within their own organization before the give out any advice on child rearing, not to mention the DV rampant in their organization.

 

[Fadeaway]

No, she doesn't have a safe place out side of her room. I am fairly new to this area and it's a brand new area to her.

 

[shimmerz]

Full on melt down then running for 5 blocks as I chased her because it was too overstimulating for her, she spooked and just took off running as fast as she could to nowhere.

Yeah, that along with puking at school.... I have been there; done that. This was my life for almost 10 years and am just starting to come out of it. The body does and the brain can't keep up is how that felt to me. My body was the enemy.

Does she know that she may have PTSD? Have you broached that with her at all so that she has an idea that she isn't actually crazy? I expect that based on what she has (and is) going through, that these reactions aren't crazy - they are learned. That may be a helpful tidbit to know.

I would leave the overwhelming stuff along if you can (?) It didn't matter to me how many times I tried to shore up with exposure therapy, each event just triggered off another trauma reaction - which actually became a trauma in and of itself. Is there a way that you can scale her life completely back Fadeaway?

Also, can you help her learn how to ground to self care (really minimal self care) items? Reframe things so that she realizes any self care is helping her to heal?

Wellness stuff has been a miracle for me, but that may just be me. No idea if it would have helped when I was in the midst of trauma after trauma after trauma.

To be honest, I had to completely scale my life back to literally no stimulation and start over again. I am still in that process. It takes quite some time.

Not sure how your symptoms are playing into this if at all. Ideally you want to be the person she will be able to ground to until she can start taking it on (slowly) herself.

Teaching her that you are calm, watchful (for her signs she is getting jacked up), guiding her towards learning how to help balance out her nervous system (thus her reactions).

I wonder if she was running away from or running to something? I ask because I was always running to my car. That's how I learned what safe was for me.

Also, I have been trying to go swimming (which I love) for almost a year now. It is too much for me too. The noises, the people, the lighting, and oh god, the change room. The echoes.

 

[Deleted member 47099]

stays in bed all day playing a very old video game she used to play when little. As the game is for little kids.

What if her instincts are right and for now she's choosing the most soothing and non-triggering option available?
Is it really so "bad" if she spends a couple of months like this?
Sure, it's not ideal.
But nothing about the situation is ideal.
Sometimes all you can choose is the least-bad option.