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ED Undereating, suggestions?

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This is not helpful probably, but I realize at it's core (at least partially) is not eating numbs the pain (or just hardens you to deal with pain, which I already have, physical and emotional and psychological), and it also seems just a response to unbearable stress. I used to think it was anxiety or depression, but I think when there's no way out, or so it seems, too much stress or not enough reserves to contend with it, then there's anxiety, then there's sort of depression/ worn out (for me), then it just seems matter of fact to stop eating. I know they say you get brain damage in as little as 24 hours, which is all I need, but after 40+ years of one meal/ day most days, definitely work days, I can't tolerate otherwise well, anyway. I've considered eating better would help deal with stress, but no, at least not at this stage of the game. And it just seems the logical response to stop entirely. I really have come to appreciate first hand how hard it is to eat when there is no appetitite, or desire. It's quite repulsive.
 
I always lose all interest in food when I´m depressed
One of my best tricks for this is to freeze soup/curries/smoothies in ice cube trays when I’m doing well, and store the resulting concentrated nutrition cubes in ziplock bags in the freezer. So that when I’m doing badly I can just set a timer and nuke/microwave/thaw a cube and knock it back. Because, even when I can’t eat? I can drink. And dropping a frozen cube in a glass, zapping it liquid, and drinking it? Takes less than a minute. So even if I’m sleeping 20+ hours, it’s something I can manage without thinking about. And if I’m awake but can’t think / have zero interest in eating? I can still knock a shot of soup back because it’s “time” not, because I’m hungry, or want to.

Of course, the same principle applies to nutrition shakes & I don’t have to make them! Which is a bonus when things have been hard for a long time, or I don’t have a freezer, but a negative if I’m broke. So I usually try and do both; cook when I’m doing well & lay in premade supplies for when I’m doing badly. And I periodically live off of those, too. Baby food / toddler food (especially the squeezy pouches like astronauts use!), kefir, yogurt milk, V8, smoothies, etc. are also good choices. Don’t think. Don’t taste. Just swallow. I can usually manage that. Even when I’m doing really badly.
 
This is not helpful probably, but I realize at it's core (at least partially) is not eating numbs the pain

That´s actually quite accurate. I tend to not eat when I´m nervous/stressed or in hypertension, and being in hypertension is one way to not feel anything at all.

I do hope you get in touch with your body again over time, TinyFlame. Good that you have insight in yourself.

@Friday Thanks! I bought a fridge to have in my own room.

It´s already helping, as the house does have a communal fridge but it requires me to interact with other people and I don´t want to do that. It has a supertiny freezer compartment :-)

The idea of smoothies is also a good one, I can handle yoghurt. I think I´ll save up for a blender.
 
Thank you @Gwaihir , same for you. Because being always (or more often than not) stressed afraid and vigilant is exhausting and takes a toll. Plus I can't really be aware of much more than that. Which isn't fair to others. And life-limiting for me, too.

Hugs if ok to you. :hug:
 
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