Movingforward10
Sponsor
Sorry for what you have been through.
Survivor of childhood abuse too. Took me till my 40's to fully acknowledge what happened, so you are 20 years ahead of me!
It's hard with friends (and I would say that it is hard at my age too, and with my partner). I think people do care and want to help, but they don't know how. It's natural to shy away from hard things. So whilst it can feel invalidating, silencing, that they don't care about this massively important part of what happened to you and how that has shaped the person you are: they might be coming from a place of misguided support. They might not want to upset you. They might not know what to say.
My partner asks me to talk to my T about certain things rather than her. Not because she doesn't care and isn't considerate (although those are the messages I hear), but because she doesn't know how to help.
Is there a friend or two that you can explain what you need when you need their support? Would they be able to listen and then change how they respond to you?
You sound a strong resilient person. Making that decision to go no contact with your abuser shows your strength of self.
Survivor of childhood abuse too. Took me till my 40's to fully acknowledge what happened, so you are 20 years ahead of me!
It's hard with friends (and I would say that it is hard at my age too, and with my partner). I think people do care and want to help, but they don't know how. It's natural to shy away from hard things. So whilst it can feel invalidating, silencing, that they don't care about this massively important part of what happened to you and how that has shaped the person you are: they might be coming from a place of misguided support. They might not want to upset you. They might not know what to say.
My partner asks me to talk to my T about certain things rather than her. Not because she doesn't care and isn't considerate (although those are the messages I hear), but because she doesn't know how to help.
Is there a friend or two that you can explain what you need when you need their support? Would they be able to listen and then change how they respond to you?
You sound a strong resilient person. Making that decision to go no contact with your abuser shows your strength of self.