FauxLiz
Sponsor
Okay, I am struggling today as I scheduled and completed 4 medical appointments and find myself in two very different and very perplexing situations thanks to the way health care is "managed" for lack of a better word in this country.
One of my appointments was for a cervical interlaminar steroid injection, another with my PCP for my annual physical, and another "routine" med check with my P-doc. The injection is a painful procedure that could be much less painful and thus traumatic with sedation but the specialist that can provide the procedure is a three-hour drive from where I live and sedation would require a driver and I don't have the support system that can provide someone I feel comfortable asking to take a full day off from work to accompany me. I get it but it is frustrating and I just feel so hopeless.
At my physical my PCP has referred me for a colonoscopy and even though I can get the procedure closer to home (it still would be at minimum a half-day off from work for someone to be my driver/caretaker at it would still be an hour each way and three hour procedure time) I have looked into non-emergency medical transportation but I don't qualify for any of the services in the region where I live as I am not old enough or physically disabled enough so in spite of a significant family history of colon cancer I won't be scheduling the procedure. Which seriously, I don't see any other options which again makes me feel worthless and hopeless but then maybe it's for the best, no screening increases my chances of having undetected cancer or other issues which would permit me to just say screw treatment. Insurance would benefit from early detection to reduce potential costs of untreated issues but they don't offer transportation assistance unless I am in a wheelchair or over 65.
Then my med check with the P-doc. Not an ideal situation he is located in the area where my specialist is and though I had transferred to a P-doc closer to where I live when I moved he left the practice and I couldn't get into anyone closer to do med management for 9 months and couldn't wait that long for med refills. The practice where my P-doc is still using paper records and refuses to electronically transmit to pharmacies prescriptions for controlled meds so I can't see him virtually (even with COVID). Today, he was my fourth appointment, I was "hangry" because of the need to refrain from food and liquids for the procedure and I really don't like him so I pushed back and asked why it is that they can transmit the non-controlled meds electronically to the pharmacy but not the controlled which he finally admitted was just how his practice prefers to operate. Then he told me that the practice has instituted a drug screen requirement for all med management patients. This was after we had just finished reviewing my current meds (I have a chronic pain condition, ADD, major anxiety, and a host of other conditions including PTSD and MDD) which include an opiate, benzo, amphetamine, and all including the P-doc approving of my use of legal marihuana products to reduce my need for multiple other meds to manage the conditions. I asked what the purpose was of doing a drug screen (which yes has a cost to me) when he knows from my current meds all of those items will show up in the screen to which he said that under current regulations it is required. Being in the mood I was in I pushed back again and said no, it is not required as it if was all of my other prescribers (PCP and Pain Specialist) would require the screening, that the FDA recommends screening but it is not required. I know for a lot of people a drug screen would not be an issue, however as my employer receives federal funding and therefore must be a zero-tolerance policy in regards to drug screening. As my health insurance is provided by my employer I am concerned that a positive drug screen could possibly affect my insurability which would raise a red flag with my employer and cost me my job. I am not subject to random testing but would be required to do a screen if I was involved in a work-related accident or injury. I know I am taking a risk with the marihuana products but as I am not under the influence at work it is a risk I am willing to take as I consume less than a 5 mg edible when needed when I am at home and not going out for at least 12 hours. Again I feel as though it is a hopeless situation, I can try to find a different P-doc but I am not hopeful that would be a fruitful search. The P-doc agreed he would hold off on the order until our next appointment in 3 months but I am not any more likely to be agreeable then unless I somehow won the lottery.
I just feel like giving up. I am struggling in therapy, and having issues with my therapist I feel as though what is the point? I want to just walk away from the entire medical and behavioral health establishments but the meds are the only thing that has kept me even partially stable not having them well I guess that could be described as a not regulated method of physician-assisted suicide as I feel like they are controlling my survivability with these discriminatory/exclusionary policies.
Well if you have made it this far I hope that I haven't depressed or upset you with my venting I just want to curl up in a corner somewhere and disappear.
One of my appointments was for a cervical interlaminar steroid injection, another with my PCP for my annual physical, and another "routine" med check with my P-doc. The injection is a painful procedure that could be much less painful and thus traumatic with sedation but the specialist that can provide the procedure is a three-hour drive from where I live and sedation would require a driver and I don't have the support system that can provide someone I feel comfortable asking to take a full day off from work to accompany me. I get it but it is frustrating and I just feel so hopeless.
At my physical my PCP has referred me for a colonoscopy and even though I can get the procedure closer to home (it still would be at minimum a half-day off from work for someone to be my driver/caretaker at it would still be an hour each way and three hour procedure time) I have looked into non-emergency medical transportation but I don't qualify for any of the services in the region where I live as I am not old enough or physically disabled enough so in spite of a significant family history of colon cancer I won't be scheduling the procedure. Which seriously, I don't see any other options which again makes me feel worthless and hopeless but then maybe it's for the best, no screening increases my chances of having undetected cancer or other issues which would permit me to just say screw treatment. Insurance would benefit from early detection to reduce potential costs of untreated issues but they don't offer transportation assistance unless I am in a wheelchair or over 65.
Then my med check with the P-doc. Not an ideal situation he is located in the area where my specialist is and though I had transferred to a P-doc closer to where I live when I moved he left the practice and I couldn't get into anyone closer to do med management for 9 months and couldn't wait that long for med refills. The practice where my P-doc is still using paper records and refuses to electronically transmit to pharmacies prescriptions for controlled meds so I can't see him virtually (even with COVID). Today, he was my fourth appointment, I was "hangry" because of the need to refrain from food and liquids for the procedure and I really don't like him so I pushed back and asked why it is that they can transmit the non-controlled meds electronically to the pharmacy but not the controlled which he finally admitted was just how his practice prefers to operate. Then he told me that the practice has instituted a drug screen requirement for all med management patients. This was after we had just finished reviewing my current meds (I have a chronic pain condition, ADD, major anxiety, and a host of other conditions including PTSD and MDD) which include an opiate, benzo, amphetamine, and all including the P-doc approving of my use of legal marihuana products to reduce my need for multiple other meds to manage the conditions. I asked what the purpose was of doing a drug screen (which yes has a cost to me) when he knows from my current meds all of those items will show up in the screen to which he said that under current regulations it is required. Being in the mood I was in I pushed back again and said no, it is not required as it if was all of my other prescribers (PCP and Pain Specialist) would require the screening, that the FDA recommends screening but it is not required. I know for a lot of people a drug screen would not be an issue, however as my employer receives federal funding and therefore must be a zero-tolerance policy in regards to drug screening. As my health insurance is provided by my employer I am concerned that a positive drug screen could possibly affect my insurability which would raise a red flag with my employer and cost me my job. I am not subject to random testing but would be required to do a screen if I was involved in a work-related accident or injury. I know I am taking a risk with the marihuana products but as I am not under the influence at work it is a risk I am willing to take as I consume less than a 5 mg edible when needed when I am at home and not going out for at least 12 hours. Again I feel as though it is a hopeless situation, I can try to find a different P-doc but I am not hopeful that would be a fruitful search. The P-doc agreed he would hold off on the order until our next appointment in 3 months but I am not any more likely to be agreeable then unless I somehow won the lottery.
I just feel like giving up. I am struggling in therapy, and having issues with my therapist I feel as though what is the point? I want to just walk away from the entire medical and behavioral health establishments but the meds are the only thing that has kept me even partially stable not having them well I guess that could be described as a not regulated method of physician-assisted suicide as I feel like they are controlling my survivability with these discriminatory/exclusionary policies.
Well if you have made it this far I hope that I haven't depressed or upset you with my venting I just want to curl up in a corner somewhere and disappear.