Wishing vs self-negative pattern

[alittlehelpplease]

Does wishing or daydreaming about somehow being better than I am actually become a self negating pattern?

 

[Teasel]

I know at times when I'm unhappy with my lot, I've often indulged in wishing, sometimes to a fairly extreme extent. And recognise that's not a great way to live my life. I'm sure too though that there is some benefit to the wishing, albeit maybe short term...

self negating pattern?

Trying to think exactly what this means? Can you say a bit more about it?

 

[alittlehelpplease]

I know at times when I'm unhappy with my lot, I've often indulged in wishing, sometimes to a fairly extreme extent. And recognise that's not a great way to live my life. I'm sure too though that there is some benefit to the wishing, albeit maybe short term...


Trying to think exactly what this means? Can you say a bit more about it?

As an example, I want to be more outgoing like other people I know such as my wife. Does wanting to be more outgoing really mean that I have a negative view of my ability to socially interact? Does it mean I see myself as being negative because I’m a bit of an introvert?

 

[Teasel]

Not necessarily. Do you think you have a negative view of yourself?

 

[alittlehelpplease]

Not necessarily. Do you think you have a negative view of yourself?

I’m currently going through therapy and have been doing a lot of thinking lately about many different things. I’m remembering several times thinking about how much better life would be if only I was more energetic, taller, smarter, handsome, and the like. So do all the things I wish I was actually represent the negative impression I have for myself? Is that what I’ve been doing all along and just now realized it?

 

[Teasel]

Ok that's definitely possible. I mean I don't think that wanting to be more sociable alone would necessarily count as disliking yourself. But if it's a pervasive pattern then yeah maybe you're right.

A couole years ago I figured out that I'm autistic and have adhd. Before that I had 50 years of thinking I just don't measure up, in most ways.

Self acceptance has been absolutely wonderful for me.

Have you talked about this in therapy? Or with anyone else?

 

[alittlehelpplease]

I will at my next session.Therapist thinks I have ADHD

Ok that's definitely possible. I mean I don't think that wanting to be more sociable alone would necessarily count as disliking yourself. But if it's a pervasive pattern then yeah maybe you're right.

A couole years ago I figured out that I'm autistic and have adhd. Before that I had 50 years of thinking I just don't measure up, in most ways.

Self acceptance has been absolutely wonderful for me.

Have you talked about this in therapy? Or with anyone else?

Thank you for your help

 

[Teasel]

You're welcome. Hope you find the answers you seek