I improved my decision making anxiety

[enterthechair]

I've had anxiety and difficulty around making decisions, even the seemingly smallest ones would give me panic attacks, I'd lose entire days out of being indecisive.

I've looked on Youtube for videos about this. A lot of them give the usual platitudes, but I feel like this video was a landmark moment. It helped me immensely.

Here's the thesis:
1) A lot of the time, our fear isn't from the outcome of the decision itself but rather our ability to deal with the uncertainty and regret.
2) (Most) decisions aren't inherently good or bad in themselves. It's how we act and follow through on them that decides if the outcome is good.

If we make a decision and it's not up to our expectation. Can we tweak or adjust it? Can we learn a lesson from it? If it doesn't work out, try something different next time. And in some cases, sometimes with hard work and persistance, that decision you initially regretted can turn into a good one.

What causes people to be indecisive is when they make a decision, follow through on it poorly and then blame the outcome on the decision itself. Hence, the decision itself is the enemy and we must not make the decision.

Sometimes, when we ask people what decision we should make, it's a trap. We want them to make the decision for us, so that we don't have to commit to or take accountability for it. Part of making a decision is learning how to do deal with uncertainty. Looking to someone for us to give us a certain answer, means we're not addressing the uncertainty head on.

Making a decision, when the odds seem 50/50 or 51/49, picking a side and dealing with the consequences is what helps us overcome the regret.

 

[Dark.Green.Feathers]

Sometimes, when we ask people what decision we should make, it's a trap. We want them to make the decision for us, so that we don't have to commit to or take accountability for it.

This is definitely true, being able to make our own decisions and deal with their consequences is very important. Delegating the responsibility to other people can feel better, but is only taking our power out of the situation and reinforcing ideas of being helpless/powerless. Also means we can miss out on important information.

If we make a decision and it's not up to our expectation. Can we tweak or adjust it? Can we learn a lesson from it? If it doesn't work out, try something different next time. And in some cases, sometimes with hard work and persistance, that decision you initially regretted can turn into a good one.

I like this. Think this also ties into all-or-nothing thinking. The idea that outcomes of decisions can be either only entirely good or entirely bad, with no way out. Most poor decisions are unideal, not catastrophic. And decent decisions aren’t without issues. But it’s in the nature of trauma catastrophise and be black ‘n’ white, forgetting all that.




Uncertainty is hard, I can find that really hard to cope with when I’m struggling, with not much room left in the stress-cup.