Attacking Members On The Forum Affects Other Members!

[Brontie]

Having been involved in a few forums, I see a trend and it is that they try to stay clear of politics and religion, and some even ban them from the board altogether because they do cause the most controversy. Personally, I don’t see the point of discussing politics or religion on health related boards.

 

[Grama-Herc]

I've been on this forum since 1997 and have done my share of attacks on others and have been attacked myself. It happens! ! ! Even got myself in serious trouble for it. "IT" happens. Always has and always will. The trick is to be adults and not allow it to continue when something gets out of hand. Better yet, staying out of a situation that does not really concern you is even better. My thanks to Anthony for managing to keep all of us in check. I would not want his job.

Somethimes when we are in a pissy mood, we need to just turn off the computer and let the dust settle(so to speak).

This is just my humble opinion and aimed at NO ONE! So no attacks for it, please.

 

[alixipain]

in a pissy mood.

Hmmm Thats almost everyday for me. Wake up in the morning with the "Today is a great and beautiful day" attitude 1 person can say the wrong thing or do something absolutly stupid and the day goes down the drain in a split second.

Small note: sometimes I get double "L"s when typing, sometimes they dont appear. A big gapping hole is in key board where "L" belongs.

 

[Kintsugi]

That is just the way it is for some, and until they really want to change, nothing will help them. We get those members here occasionally, I guarantee we have some here now... and they will either eventually leave in the same condition or they will argue that everyone else is wrong, likely mainly me, their therapist, doctors, etc... and that they are at no fault for the condition they remain within. You can't help denial, its just the way it is. That does not imply fault for being abused, it implies fault for wanting to remain the way you are.

I'm new here. When I first started reading these posts, I was coming from a place of complete empathy, becoming overwhelmed through relating to the way others were feeling, and at first I didn't understand why many clearly emotional members were often finding what I saw as resistance from anthony. I got a little heated and worked up, and then I decided to chill out and not get involved, and most importantly to read what anthony was saying very closely. In this exercise, I realized that I was empathizing with people who were distressed and seeing implications and inferences and tone where there were words. I'm particularly terrible with reading into things because doing close readings of text is what I do in every facet of my life--school, work, play--I read things that are constructed to have specific subtexts. But I realized I couldn't bring that thinking here, and in turn I realized that I couldn't bring that thinking into RL conversation, which is what I've had so much trouble with recently with my fiance. So, what I'm trying to say is, listening to anthony has actually brought me much closer to reality in terms of taking things at face-value (his famous repetend, "Nothing more, nothing less... ." I think I need to adopt this as a mantra). Listening closer to anthony has made me realize something more important: agency, responsibility, accountability.

Many don't understand what goes on behind the scenes, and nor should you really worry about such things, but be rest assured, that I, and every staff member of this forum, act on the best interest of the majority. We don't just ban people for stupid things, we give warnings, we discuss privately, we try to get difficult or distress persons to calm down, even if that means a temporary ban. Staff are not here to hinder, though unfortunately there are a minority that exist to cause issue, and they will be dealt with.

And I'm really happy to hear about this process. Like atl22, I am worried about saying something that offends someone or that is viewed as inappropriate and then either being ignored by members or booted out. It's scary being the new kid. : )

 

[alixipain]

And I'm really happy to hear about this process. Like atl22, I am worried about saying something that offends someone or that is viewed as inappropriate and then either being ignored by members or booted out. It's scary being the new kid. : )

When its brought to my attention that I have offended someone through a post or comment that I have made, that makes that person(s) feel attacked or hurt in any way I will remove it myself if the Mod's here or Anthony doesn't first. It’s just how I am, I don't post to annoy or offend others it just happens. Sometimes you could post trying to give others a prospective of hope, yet "It bites ya in the rear".

We're not damaged goods, nor are we Jesus (even though some of us want to be) we're human beings we make mistakes. It might seem okay to some of us where it’s not to others, learning to compromise is a good thing not a bad. And learning to except that others are different doesn't hurt.

 

[anthony]

An older member tried reciting to me about political discussion, or something that they believe I had some rule on them being here. That is not correct actually, and I have never said such conversations cannot be posted. What I do believe, is that such conversations can be had, as long as any participant remains with their opinion, and doesn't start defending or attacking another's opinion. That is where political and religious discussions get off track. I don't care if either are had here in the chit chat forum, never had, but they need to be kept as opinions, cited news stories if appropriate to the foundation, and people need not argue, regardless what they think of another's opinion.

I actually don't mind political discussion if it remains as mentioned. For most with PTSD, they are actually a very good way to teach yourself more assertive skills, being not to run away and avoid, not to attack, but simply state your opinion, respect others, and discuss, seeing all sides uniquely vs. maybe just your own one view. I get a lot from other people here in such discussions, ie. citizens in a specific country vs. what is on the news itself. You don't learn otherwise what really happens.... that is a powerful feature of the web, its just some struggle to keep opinions as opinions, and instead attack or defend their opinion, which cannot be right or wrong, hence an opinion.

If people learn that in such discussions, it is a positive tool to assist with PTSD.

There have been religious discussions here before, as I am not religious, I usually have not even posted in them, or I only posted I am not religious, and left the thread to those who are. Respect others opinions, and all such discussions are just fine. Stray off that path, then staff begin deleting and editing, or worst case, closing to allow cool-off periods.

 

[angel2write]

I think I actually smashed one of Ronin's threads a while back. Nobody slapped my wrist or said anything to me about it. But I definitely over-reacted to the issue, and I noticed that the thread died soon after. It is so important on here not to crush people, make them feel like they have no right to their feelings (I think a lot of us already feel that way), or imply that their feelings are wrong. I don't know- I guess I thought this would be a good place to say, "I'm sorry!" Didn't mean to do that.

 

[anthony]

What ever person finds attacking is different... and then what is clearly attacking is quite defined.

 

[anni]

I still think it's really good practice to read something and then ascertain for oneself whether or not to respond-is it worth it? If you do respond in some adrenaline fueled state will you regret it and then feel a need to avoid the thread? Are you really wishing to present perhaps some personal viewpoint or is it pompous posturing intended to make others look silly for what they believe?

These political threads are always, always in chit-chat hence sort of immune from the usual topical forum 'rules' where things must be pertaining to PTSD. I realize I generally jump into them but it's because the subjects usually are very good and as Anthony said because there are other nationalites here we get great 'coverage' on perspectives from 'out there'. This is TRULY not meant as at all a snitty thing to say-seriously, but it's like with any other threads here. If something isn't what one wishes to read that day, it's just good to not read it, that's all. These things are very easy to avoid since they are not part of the main forum.

I like political threads, being born into a family which issues each newborn with their own minute UnderDog cape.

 

[cherryblossom]

Having been involved in a few forums, I see a trend and it is that they try to stay clear of politics and religion, and some even ban them from the board altogether because they do cause the most controversy. Personally, I don’t see the point of discussing politics or religion on health related boards.

I don't see any issue with politics and religion being discussed in the 'chit chat' area of the forum, so long as it doesn't turn to personally attacking. A debate is always good, in my eyes, so long as it's healthy debate. If it spills over to the main ptsd forums, then I can see there might be an issue. As far as I can tell 'chit chat' is there to discuss non ptsd issues, and I enjoy reading and responding to political /religious views. Reading what my world wide ptsd friends (and supporters) think about global politic or religious news is of interest to me.

 

[Abbi]

I don't really think religion and politics were the threads that brought up the concerns being discussed, I may be wrong. (or at least chit chat politics didn't really bother me) We also cannot dismiss that Faith/spirituality takes a major role in recovery for some sufferers and support to carers. Its almost as if it a hands-off subject.

I think the general point was take it easy and realize that if you are here (PTSD or not) we all have our "sick" moments. I know that this thread has made me more cognizant to perhaps not be so sensitive to certain post and realize that we probably are dealing with more than PTSD when threads go wrong. I imagine no matter how hard the Admin/mods try we still deal with some malingering/attention seeking/and SUI (surfing under the influence) in addition to the typical mood swings/sensitivities/triggers.

 

[AmyO]

I agree with what is being said. It is hard to sort out all of the different dimensions of what we are going through. But through the opportunity of having the structured "rules" (which I believe help with the chaos of our lives), and the honesty of others who have a more advanced knowledge (than myself) it helps me re-evaluate what I need to do as a sufferer of Ptsd taking care of three little ones with Ptsd.

I prefer (and respect) someone who will call me on undesirable behavior as it will begin to affect my everyday life.

One instance recently, I had a situation that I reaccted to in extreme anger and someone not in their right senses got hurt because of my actions (not on forum). I got a lot of support and I thank everyone for that but I also got the flip side which was that I created a sense of false bravado and spent many days afterward dealing with my guilt of what I did and knowing that is not what I want to teach my kids.

I respect and admire everyone that is here, whether they agree with me or not, because I am not perfect (far far far from it) and I believe that is what makes this such a great forum. Kudos to all.