TryingHard
New Here
This is a very special, caring website.
I was looking for help in how to relate to someone close to me who suffers from PTSD. It's a new, romantic involvement that I would like very much to see survive. I hope you all can help me understand PTSD better.
I have been alert enough to see that stress is his most prominent trigger, and he's very, very stressed right now. He's shutting me out and trying to sabotage the relationship. He's not sure he even wants to continue it. He's probably doing the right thing by intensely focusing on one task at a time; all the tasks are very stressful, even for someone without PTSD. I'm trying to be understanding but am finding myself walking on eggshells and giving him the space he says he needs.
When he is able to reduce his stress, he's a joy to be around and we have a great deal of common interests. I'm just afraid that he's actually setting himself up with situations that will invariably be stress-inducing, or maybe I'm misreading it, and he is just so unable to cope with stressors that it would only appear he is creating them. It breaks my heart to be shut out. I'm trying so hard, but I don't know what I should be doing to help him.
Even if we weren't involved, I would still care about his health and his future. I know he wants to have someone in his life and is very lonely, but unless I learn (or a woman in his future learns) how to relate, or he learns better management skills, he is destined to be lonely the rest of his life.
He's held high-level positions in his professional past (before PTSD), and I think that he believes if he pushes himself hard enough, he can handle the load like he used to be able to do. He's very, very intelligent and quite capable, and wants to be who he used to be. But his way of pushing himself hard just undermines his efforts to fight the PTSD.
I'm so sad for him. I don't know if it's possible for him to ever be there for me should I need "shoring up." Probably sounds selfish, but it seems everyone needs a shoulder to cry on once in awhile but I think it would just cause him more stress.
He sees a therapist but I'm not privy to what they discuss. The therapist asked him, shortly after he and I met, what he was going to do to mess up this relationship.
Is there any hope?
Heartbroken
I was looking for help in how to relate to someone close to me who suffers from PTSD. It's a new, romantic involvement that I would like very much to see survive. I hope you all can help me understand PTSD better.
I have been alert enough to see that stress is his most prominent trigger, and he's very, very stressed right now. He's shutting me out and trying to sabotage the relationship. He's not sure he even wants to continue it. He's probably doing the right thing by intensely focusing on one task at a time; all the tasks are very stressful, even for someone without PTSD. I'm trying to be understanding but am finding myself walking on eggshells and giving him the space he says he needs.
When he is able to reduce his stress, he's a joy to be around and we have a great deal of common interests. I'm just afraid that he's actually setting himself up with situations that will invariably be stress-inducing, or maybe I'm misreading it, and he is just so unable to cope with stressors that it would only appear he is creating them. It breaks my heart to be shut out. I'm trying so hard, but I don't know what I should be doing to help him.
Even if we weren't involved, I would still care about his health and his future. I know he wants to have someone in his life and is very lonely, but unless I learn (or a woman in his future learns) how to relate, or he learns better management skills, he is destined to be lonely the rest of his life.
He's held high-level positions in his professional past (before PTSD), and I think that he believes if he pushes himself hard enough, he can handle the load like he used to be able to do. He's very, very intelligent and quite capable, and wants to be who he used to be. But his way of pushing himself hard just undermines his efforts to fight the PTSD.
I'm so sad for him. I don't know if it's possible for him to ever be there for me should I need "shoring up." Probably sounds selfish, but it seems everyone needs a shoulder to cry on once in awhile but I think it would just cause him more stress.
He sees a therapist but I'm not privy to what they discuss. The therapist asked him, shortly after he and I met, what he was going to do to mess up this relationship.
Is there any hope?
Heartbroken
