I have to take baths because without balance I cannot safely stand up in the shower.
However, a significant amount of my abuse did happen while bathing with my father. My mother was usually in the bathroom when my father and I played games: Find the soap (guess what I found most of the time?), sitting on Dad's lap and riding the horse, how long I can hold my breath (Mom measured the time on a watch and Dad made sure that I wasn't sneaking a breath by making me put my mouth around his penis). The goal was to get me to hold my breath for over three minutes so that I could go collect mussels from the ocean (Mediterranean, just a few hours from Milan where we lived) in the summer with the local boys. The latter was something I always enjoyed doing. So as usual something fun mixed with something disgusting made me really confused and I ended up thinking it was normal.
As a kid, having anything to do with a tub was scary. Somehow my parents convinced me to take a bath by coming up with the games. My Dad holding the soap in his hand, or mimicking a horse, and my mom coming toward me with a towel made for effective communication with a deaf daughter who spoke neither of the parents languages an who was still learning the language of the country we lived in at the time and made it seem fun.
As an adult, however, I live in my own house and have become comfortable taking baths. I qualify for PCA help, but refuse it for bathing. Against all safety advice from medical professionals, I take my baths when I am home alone. The house is locked up and my giant golden retriever hangs out on the bath rug.
